Category Archives: Humor

Weekend Moment:Bob the Banana


Bob The Banana came into our lives when we lived in south Florida. (That’s Bob in our backyard with Julia when she was seven years old).

Several years ago, my friend Madora’s mother was very ill. During this time,  Madora’s neighbors had gone to Disney and won  Bob in a game. Thinking that he would cheer her up, they drove back from Disney to Coral Springs with him. When Madora opened her front door that day, imagine her surprise to see a 6 ft. tall velvet banana on her doorstep! She christened him Bob, stationed him where she would see him everyday, and Bob fulfilled his purpose by making her smile during a sad and difficult time.

Following her mother’s death, Madora decided to have a garage sale, so the kids and I went over one afternoon to help her set up.

Bob was the first thing they saw and it was love at first sight.

Seeing their total delight, Madora insisted we take him home with us.

How could I say no?

So, Madora helped me stuff Bob into our van and I drove home, all the while wondering what Doug would think of this new–and very cumbersome–addition to the family.

Bob was an instant hit.

When you live in south Florida, you always have a ton of visitors. Someone came up with the great idea to take a photo of Bob with each guest and create a separate album, so that’s what we did!

Here are a few of our good-natured visitors:

This is my cousin Johanna, who was in town to plan her wedding to the fabulous Matt in Key West. People often tell me that we look like sisters…I take that as a huge compliment. 🙂

This is my mom’s cousin Elaine. Or, as we call her THE Elaine because there is only one. Elaine is one of those people who is larger than life. Wherever she goes, a party is sure to follow. This particular day, Elaine chose to have her photo taken with Bob in the front yard. We had no way of knowing that this photo-op  would coincide with a showing of our next door neighbor’s home that had been on the market for quite some time.  I have no idea why that couple never made an offer and became our neighbors. What’s the big deal about seeing a 6 ft. banana preparing for his close up in the front yard?!

This is my friend Jenn from Rhode Island and her adorable son Evan. He did not look like he was too sure about Bob!  Or the color of that accent wall.

This is our nephew Tony and  my husband Doug by the pool. Tony was the ring-bearer in our wedding 18 years ago. He is now married with a son. Time sure does fly.  Bob loved to lounge by the water and soak up the rays. Now that he lives with us in the mountains of New Hampshire, those days are long gone. Poor Bob.

I do have one regret about Bob. Our friend Darrin is an award-winning auto-cross driver who also lived in Florida. We always intended to put Bob in the passenger seat of Darrin’s Miata (complete with a helmet, of course) and watch him take a spin around the track!  That would have been a cool photo!

Even though we now live in the northeast, we have continued the tradition of having of our guests pose for photos with Bob. Strange, though…we don’t have nearly the amount of visitors we used to have when we lived in Florida! Especially during the winter months.  Hmmm…

No matter where life finds you, I hope that  laughter will be a part of your day.  If you don’t feel that you have anything to laugh about, then hopefully these photos of Bob will at least cause you to smile. 🙂

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” –Milton Berle

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Filed under Humor, Weekend Moments

Cookbook for Brides


Recently, I came across a gag wedding gift from my friend Terri.

It was a book called Cookbook For Brides by Dorothy Malone and it was published in 1947.

As I leafed through the pages, I was dismayed to discover that apparently, I am a hopeless failure as a wife.

I knew I was in trouble when I read part of the foreward: “At the time of marriage, only two out of any ten brides know how to cook. It’s a sad indictment of our sense of values, for every woman ultimately knows that a well-cooked meal is a most excellent adornment to a happy marriage.”

Uh-oh.

Ms. Malone continues: “It’s fun to  cook!…It’s an even greater thrill to watch the light of admiration that creeps into a husband’s eyes when he realizes that he has snatched a very jewel from the matrimonial mart and that he will be well and delightfully fed all the days of his life!”

Doug may have looked at me with admiration a time or two during our eighteen years of marriage, but it was never for my cooking.

And I’m pretty sure he cannot say that he has been well and delightfully fed all the days of his life by me.

My consternation continued as I moved on to chapter two: “Clever is the bride who is attractively dressed and nicely complexioned when the sun shines on her at breakfast time. An intelligent and beautiful bride I once knew had an excellent plan of procedure. Setting her mind to it, she rose 15 minutes before her husband and slipped noiselessly into her dressing room. There she tinted her complexion and put on a beguiling breakfast coat. When her husband’s eyes rested on her, a few minutes afterward, she looked as though she had just stepped from a freshly washed and rosy cloud.”

Does a blue fleece robe covered with white clouds count as a beguiling breakfast coat?

I was further admonished to “remember always that your table linen should be scrupulously spotless, freshly laundered, and smooth as a sheet of silver.”

I have placemats with lovely lake scenes on them.

When carving meat, “don’t moan if any splatters go out of bounds and land on the tablecloth, in spite of your best efforts. If you must moan, for goodness sake don’t do it publicly. Do it privately, preferrably in the privacy of your own soul.”

When I was growing up, the other moms on our street called me “The Mouth Of Theresa Avenue.”  I rarely say anything  in the privacy of my own soul when I am upset. Everyone around me pretty much knows it…although I am getting much better at this!

I’m certain that Ms. Malone was absolutely sincere when she wrote this book and it must have been helpful for the brides of that day. However, I am most grateful that I was a bride in the  1990’s and not 1947. Can you imagine the pressure of having to live up to these standards? (The things I shared were just the tip of the iceberg!).

I am blessed to have a husband who tells me I look beautiful even when I am wearing sweats and no makeup. One who chooses to see past my faults and concentrate on the good things. One who encourages my dreams and listens to my concerns with great patience. One who laughs heartily and often and is an amazing father.

Is he perfect?  Of course not….no man is. But he is the perfect man for me.  That man has had his hands full with me from day one. He doesn’t try to change me; he just loves me the way I am.

He is God’s greatest blessing to me.

And I am mighty thankful that he doesn’t give a hoot that I can’t cook, don’t own a breakfast coat, and have never once looked like I just stepped from a rosy cloud. 🙂

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Filed under Friends and Family, Humor