Monthly Archives: January 2012

Photo credit: tommy v

So, I was kicked out of the dentist chair this morning.

The reason?

My blood pressure reading was too high.

The dentist called my doctor, who did not authorize him to do the procedure today due to the high number.

Not only that, I had to make an appointment to be seen  immediately at the doctor’s office.

Sigh.

My numbers have been steadily going down with the medication I am taking, which is great.

However, there is just no way that I can go to the dentist and not feel stress. Hence, the big numbers.

I immediately texted two of my dearest friends and asked them to pray for me. I fought tears on my way to the doctor’s office.

As I drove, I thought back to my verse for this morning: Consider it pure joy…when you encounter trials of various kinds.” (James 1:2)

As I stopped at a red light, Jesus spoke to my heart and asked me: “What are you considering?”

Well…if I am honest…

*I was considering the fact that after a lifetime of relatively good health, my body is beginning to limit what I can do.

*I was considering how much I dislike the fact that I have spent a lot of time in the ER and the doctor’s offices lately.

*I was considering that I do not like having to be on medication due to this life-threatening condition.

*I was considering my impatience for this medication to fully work and get my numbers back to normal.

I was certainly not considering that I am “ready for anything and equal to anything.”

In other words, I was considering myself.

One of the meanings of the word “consider” means “to have authority over, to rule over.”

I had a choice to make and it was going to determine the remaining course of my day.

Would I take authority over this situation in Jesus’ powerful name?

Or, was I going to allow myself to throw a massive pity party?

Would I count my blessings?

Or would I rehearse my grievances?

Would I say, “I trust You, Jesus”?

Or would I buy into the enemy’s lie that “it’s all downhill from here”?

Faced with those options, I decided to begin to consider the JOY that was being offered to me.

I have been given this day and I am commanded to rejoice in it. (Ps. 118:24).

I can’t rejoice in poor health or stressful circumstances or heartbreak. But I CAN rejoice in the fact that Jesus is with me every step of the way and He is taking care of me. He alone holds my destiny in His hands.

I can rejoice that I am safe in His care.

I can thank Him for access to good medical care.

I can rejoice that He is teaching me to live the life out of every moment, even if circumstances are less than ideal.

I can rejoice over the fact that this world is not my home and I am headed to a new Heaven and a new Earth. (Rev. 21).

This was reinforced once I got home from the doctor’s office with more orders to rest and continue to monitor my numbers (as well as the news that I am banned from going to the dentist for at least a month: a silver lining! :)), I picked up the book I am currently reading on heaven. This is what I read when I opened the book:

“The apostle Paul compared our present earthly bodies to tents (2 Corinthians 5:1-4)…the temporary ‘tent’ (or body) in which believers now dwell will be replaced one day with an eternal, immortal, imperishable body  (I Corinthians 15; 42, 53-54)…One commentator paraphrased Paul’s words this way: ‘Don’t take your physical situation too seriously. Your body is fine to camp out in for a while, but before long, the tent will begin to sag; a stake or two will be lost along the way; seams will begin to tear…Our Father is so good to gently remind us every time we look in the mirror that we’re rushing toward eternity. Paul was one who truly understood that his body was only a temporary dwelling…while in this body, we groan. Why so? Our bodies are burdened by sin, sickness, sorrow, and death…we groan because our “tents” are showing signs of use, because our bodies are wearing out.” —The Wonder Of Heaven by Ron Rhodes, pp. 79-80.

So why am I shocked that as I get older, my body begins to ever-so-slowly break down?

I can rejoice whatever befalls this temporary body because I will have a new one for all eternity, as will all other believers. This body will be perfect and beautiful, free from all remnants of the Fall.

My hope and joy and peace do not rest with this body I have been given, nor this world in which I currently live.

No, my hope, peace, and joy rest in my resurrected Savior who reigns in Heaven.

I’m going there one day.

I will see His face.

I will see the scars on His hands and His feet.

I will live forever with Him in a place of breathtaking beauty, where everyday wonders upon wonders will unfold.

As our pastor reminded all of us on Sunday, Jesus could return at any second. When He comes Scripture promises that “He will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body.” (Phil. 3:21)

That is why I can consider it all joy, regardless of whatever befalls this earthly body.

Photo credit: little_frank

I read this passage in my quiet time this morning:

When evening came, the disciples approached Him (Jesus) and said, “This place is a wilderness and it is already late. Send the crowds away so they can go into the villages and buy food for themselves.”

“They don’t need to go away,” Jesus told them. “You give them something to eat.”

“But we only have five loaves and two fish here,” they said to Him.

“Bring them here to Me,” He said.

Then He commanded the crowds to sit down on the grass. He took the five loaves and two fish, and looking up to Heaven, He blessed them. He broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 

Everyone ate and was filled. Then they picked up 12 baskets full of leftover pieces!    (Matthew 14:15-20, HCSB)

This snapshot into a day in the life of Jesus and the disciples is very instructive.

1) All the disciples saw was a wilderness soon to be engulfed in darkness.

Jesus…God in human form…was standing right there with them, but their focus was solely on what they could see with their natural eyes.

Are your eyes only on what you can see? Or do you look at your circumstances through the powerful truth of God’s Word? The truths that say that He is and always will be in full control? that nothing is impossible with Him? that He will work ALL things to your highest good and His greatest glory? that you are an overcomer in His strength? that His Light always drives out the darkness?

2) The disciples told Jesus what the situation was…as far as they could see.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever gone to Jesus and laid out your situation for Him (as if He didn’t know exactly what was going on) and acted as if nothing could be done? After stating your case, have you stubbornly  held onto your unbelief by silently thinking, “Not even YOU can fix this, Jesus!”

The disciples only saw one way out of this situation. No town was nearby, darkness was falling, and the people were hungry. So, they  took charge and told Jesus what He had to do.

Haven’t you and I done the same? We explain our  situation to Him, then tell Him what we think He should do and hope that He will bless our plan.

That is never a good idea, is it?

Clearly, the disciples felt they knew what was best, which was for  Jesus to send everyone away to fend for themselves.

Except…

3) Jesus never sends anyone away who comes to Him with a need. Not ever.

As you read through the Gospels, Jesus is seen time and time again stopping to minister to anyone who comes to Him. He can always be found saying, “Come to Me! Come to Me! Come to Me!” 

It may feel sometimes that you are on your own to face your problems, but if you know Jesus as your Savior, that is never the case. He is there, willing to mightily act on your behalf at your first cry of help.

4). Imagine the disciples’ astonishment when Jesus told them, “They don’t need to go away. YOU give them something to eat!”

What?!

Notice the first thing they say to Him: “BUT!”

When Jesus begins to tell you the way out of your difficult circumstance and it doesn’t sound like ANYTHING you want to hear or would ever do, is the first thing you say, “But Jesus!”?

The word “but’ means “to the contrary.”

How often do we live to the contrary of what  Jesus plainly tells us in His Word?

He says,  “Do not fear.” We say, ” This situation is terrifying to me! How can I not be afraid?”

He says, “Do not be discouraged.” We say, “Don’t You know how long this has been going on?! It’s just too much! I can’t handle much more of this!”

He says, “Do not worry.”  We say, “What if? What if? What if?” and imagine all manner of terrible scenarios of how this thing might play out.

Don’t you get tired of arguing with Jesus when life gets hard? There truly is no point; it only adds to your stress. Listen to what He says and do what He says…even if it doesn’t make sense in the natural.

And in order to do that you have to…

5) Let Jesus  be Jesus. He is not limited by anything. He is GOD. His ways are not our ways. His timing is perfect (and rarely matches our idea of perfect timing). He knows what He is doing. Nothing is impossible with Him. He truly is capable of blowing our minds if we surrender ourselves and our situations to Him. I have seen it time and again in my own life.

6). The  disciples were focused on what they lacked…not on what Jesus could do with what they had.

Do you look at your life and see inadequate resources to deal with your current circumstances?  Are you overwhelmed by the sheer depth of the need compared to  your abilities?

Just as Jesus told the disciples to bring what they had to Him,  hear Him today saying to you with regards to your concerns, “Bring them here to Me.”

Take whatever you have and bring it to Jesus. Lay it all at His feet and trust Him to be strong where you are weak, to fill you with hope when you feel hopeless, to give you fresh courage when you are quaking in fear. He will multiply your offerings to Him in ways you cannot imagine.

7) When Jesus told the people to sit down, imagine their sense of expectancy. What in the world was He going to do?

When we are waiting for something in our lives, we are not to wait with resignation, or with white-knuckled anxiety. We are to wait joyfully and expectantly to see what Jesus will do!

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord! (Ps. 27:14)

Neither the crowd nor the disciples were disappointed with what Jesus did for them  that day in the wilderness. It was more than they could have imagined…which is exactly what He promises to do for His own who wait for Him in full surrender: “superabundantly, far over and above all we dare to ask or think; infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams.” (Ephesians 3:20)

8) Just as the loaves of bread had to broken to be of maximum benefit, so it is true with us. Until are hearts are truly broken by the weight of our sin and what it cost Jesus to save  us from the horrible penalty of that sin, we can’t fulfill our true purpose for being on this earth: to bring glory and honor to our Savior, to show others the way Home.

As Jesus gave the bread to the disciples to give to the people, so we are to take what He has given to us and share that with a lost and dying world. He is the Answer to every question and the the Healer for every pain. People need to know and see that.  He IS the very Bread of Life. Go and feed a hungry world with His Word. Let His Light shine from your life. Love like He loved.

9) Not only did everyone there eat until they were full, there were 12 baskets filled with leftovers.

Our God is a God of abundance. He is not stingy. He does not have to be coaxed into giving. He loves to give! The greatest gift He ever gave the human race is leaving the beauty of Heaven to come to this war-torn earth. He blazed across time until He fulfilled the purpose for which He came: to pay our penalty before a holy God. To open the gates of Heaven to a rebellious people. To give freedom for the captives. To give life to the dead.

Are you in the midst of a wilderness? A wilderness of sickness? Physical pain? Loneliness? Financial pressures? Heartbreak over unsaved loved ones?  Rebellious children? Marriage difficulties?

Don’t look just at what you can see with your eyes.

Know by faith that Jesus is right there with you in that wilderness. .

You will NOT leave your wilderness empty-handed and hungry of soul if you give it all to Him.

Because you see, the wilderness is simply a vast stage on which you can watch Jesus transform that seemingly gray, cheerless, and barren place into an oasis of hope, color, joy, purpose…and LIFE in all its fullness.

If we let it, the wilderness can be a place of miracles.

Photo credit: digital cat

Well, my “ready for anything, equal to anything” year is off with a bang.

I began this week with a visit to the ER.

I had bought a new blood pressure machine on Sunday and took my first reading on Monday morning.  (I  have what is known as “white coat syndrome.” That means that my blood pressure goes up every time I have to go to the doctor. Consequently, I have always taken my blood pressure at home so I can show the doctor what it is normally).

When I saw 250/150, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. So, I took it again.

It was even higher.

I walked down to my husband’s home office and showed him the numbers.

He looked at me in disbelief and said, “There’s no way that can be right. The machine must be broken.” He reached for it in order  to take his own blood pressure to prove that.

His numbers were normal.

We just stared at each other in silence for a moment before making the decision to drive to the ER.

But not before I took a shower, shaved my legs, did my hair and makeup, and packed my cell phone, iPod, and Kindle into my purse.

Priorities, you know.

By the time we got there and the intake worker took my blood pressure, it was 260/190. I thought she was going to pass out when she saw those numbers. She asked if I felt well enough to walk to a room and I told her I did. (I felt totally fine, actually).  She looked at me uncertainly and kept a close eye on me as she led us to my room. She whispered, “Good luck” before heading back to her desk.

How grateful I am that I do not rely on ‘luck.’

No, my life is held firmly in the hands of my Savior.

To remind myself of this, I held tightly to a small cross that my mom gave me for Christmas. On one side is a cross and on the other are the imprinted words: “Do Not Be Afraid. I Am With You Always.”

The next five hours seemed to crawl by as Doug and I sat together in that small room with the green walls: he on an uncomfortable plastic chair, me on a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines.

I was so grateful for his presence. He calms me. He makes me laugh. My heart melts when he fastens those beautiful blue eyes of his onto mine…eyes that speak of love, tenderness, so many memories, and still hold enough mystery to keep me intrigued, even after 22 years together. One of my greatest joys is that I get to be his wife.

Yet, for all our closeness, we are two separate people. There are limits.

He was in the chair but I was the one in the hospital bed. He was powerless to feel what I felt or to heal my body. There was nothing he could do to stop a stroke or a heart attack, which is a real possibility when one’s blood pressure is so high.

It was a fresh reminder that in the end, each of us truly is alone before God.

Jesus goes where no human being can go with us.  His eyes watched our tiny bodies being formed in our mother’s womb. His Spirit resides in our hearts. He feels what we feel. He knows our thoughts. He is aware of every fear. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows the number of days He has given us to live on this earth. He knows it all. He will be with us when we leave this life and enter eternity.

I felt His Presence very strongly in that room in the ER. His peace just saturated my heart.

“Ready for anything and equal to anything.” I kept reminding myself as the staff ran test after test and the blood pressure number continued to remain stubbornly high.

In my own strength, a situation like this would have completely overwhelmed me with fear and dread and I would have been tortured by “what if’s?”.

But in Christ, I was strong in spirit, even though my body was weak.

In Christ, I was at rest even in the midst of an emergency room…because with Jesus, there are no emergencies. Nothing catches Him off guard.

One of our old friends is currently undergoing aggressive treatment for cancer. He recently wrote these words on his blog: “God is the Potter and I am the clay…God will heal…He always does that for His children but not always on this side of Heaven.”

Those words are beautifully true.

I am the created, who has accepted the gracious and breathtaking invitation of my Creator to live this life with Him. He purchased me on the Cross and He can do with my life whatever He wills. I have purposed this year to give Him my all and I meant it. My life is safe in His hands, whether I am sick or I am well. He can allow this body to be in a hospital bed, brimming with health at the gym, or heading across the world on a mission trip. I accept whatever He has for me.

I prayed for every single person who came into my room, as well as the patients I saw being wheeled through the halls.

I realized afresh how easy it is to take good health for granted until it’s too late.

I treasured anew the precious time that I have been given here.

I thanked Jesus that this world is not my home and that there is a day coming when all sickness will be gone forever.

I thanked Him for the gift of His joy, even when circumstances are far from happy.

I prayed that He would protect me from a stroke or a heart attack and I asked for wisdom for the doctor who was treating me.

I enjoyed the fact that Doug and I could still laugh in the midst. Laughter has always characterized our relationship and it is such a gift.

I prayed that I could go home that day…and He granted that request.

Since  all my other tests revealed that my body is healthy, I was given medication, a follow up appointment with my doctor, and sent on my way.

Doug and I stopped for lunch on the way home and my eyes drank in everything around me…the  sheer beauty of life being lived outside of hospital walls. Did these people realize the great gift they had been given? To be well enough to leave their homes and do whatever they wanted to do? May we never take such gifts for granted!

Today I was officially diagnosed with high blood pressure and have started on medication. I have to severely limit my caffeine intake, which makes me sad because I do so enjoy an ice cold soda….or ten. I have to watch my salt. I have to take a break from exercising until my blood pressure is back within normal range.

I called my dad’s brother and sister, my Uncle Duane and Aunt Dot to tell them that I was the latest family member to be diagnosed with his malady, which has run in my dad’s side of the family for generations. In a surreal moment, I found myself comparing dosages and side effects of blood pressure drugs with each of them.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was 18 years old?!?!

It certainly seems like it.

But I am soon to be 47 years old. My body certainly isn’t what it used to be…but my spirit is stronger than ever.

I am equal to anything and ready for anything.

Bring it on.

Photo credit: metatrox

Ever since 2002, I have asked Jesus to give me a verse for the new year.

It is a message from His heart to mine that sets the tone for the year to come. I begin asking Him to show me that verse in December and He is always faithful to show it to me over and over again in a variety of settings (a book, a sermon, a devotional, etc.). I marvel at the end of the year when I see how perfect that verse was for me in light of how those 365 unfolded. Those eternal words that Jesus breathed into my soul were the light I needed for my path, the strength to carry on, the power to keep the faith, the comfort for the dark days.

The verse that Jesus gave me for 2012 is this:

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul  and with all your mind and with all your strength. (Mark 12:30).

Easy to read.  Easy to say. Easy to memorize.

Hard to live.

Bible teacher Beth Moore has often said that for some instances in life, Jesus says to us, “I am requiring 100% of you on this one.”

That is exactly what He is asking me for this year.

I will gladly give it to Him. He has given His all for me. He is LORD. He has purchased me with His own precious blood. My life is not my own. It is wholly and completely His to do with as He will.

Shortly after Jesus gave me my verse for 2012, my dear friend Su sent me an email entitled “Just One Word” by Don Britton:

“…it is incredible how many verses in the Bible include the phrase ‘one thing’…in the same way that Scripture uses these words, God wants us to strip it all away and ask Him, ‘What is Your will for my one-word theme this year?’ 

He goes on to write: “For me, this one word exercise, in its simplicity, has become a focal point throughout the year. It helps bring clarity into a very complex world…that word will brand you for life! Every day, you will be blessed as you experience God revealing to you powerful truths about your one-word theme. Everywhere you turn there will be new insights and valuable lessons associated with that word. ” 

After reading that, I looked at the verse that Jesus had given me and it was obvious: my word for 2012 would be ALL.

Jesus wants all of me.

I will give my all to Him…my mind, my time, my emotions, my strengths, my weaknesses, my talents, my heart.

I will treasure all my days.

I will make the most of all my opportunities.

I will love all the people who cross my path with His love that He so willingly pours into my heart.

I will do all things to His glory.

I will choose to trust Him in all circumstances that He allows me to experience.

I will attempt to know all I can about Jesus this year.

I will do all He asks me to do—no questions, no hesitation, no doubting.

I will do this one moment, one choice at a time. No, I will not do it perfectly but I will live this year with purpose and intention.

I have nothing to lose. I can only gain Jesus. And He is everything.

What about you? Would you consider asking Jesus to give you a one-word theme for 2012?

Make this year count for eternity.

Photo credit: xapa

I am not afraid anymore.

I never realized until my cousin’s death how much of my life I have actually lived in fear.

That really surprised me.

I am anything but a shrinking violet. I do not back down from a challenge. I am a fighter.

Yet, I had all these little fears: I don’t like to drive in the snow. I hated going to the dentist. I was afraid to go to the doctor for fear of discovering that something was wrong. I am afraid of public speaking. I feared being in a car accident. (The drivers and traffic were so bad in south Florida that I actually prayed for protection every single time I got in the car. Fortunately, conditions are much better in New Hampshire).

As Ann Voskamp has said, “Fear makes a life small.”

Jesus does not call His followers to a small life.

Or a safe one for that matter.

In one of my all-time favorite books, Don’t Waste Your Life John Piper calls safety in this fallen world a myth: ““One of my aims is to explode the myth of safety and to somehow deliver you from the enchantment of security. Because it’s a mirage. It doesn’t exist. Every direction you turn there are unknowns and things beyond your control.” (p 81)

I have read this book many times. Before my cousin’s death, those words scared me. There was a part of me that stubbornly wanted to continue believing that I could somehow live a safe life with minimal risk in this world.

I am no longer under such illusions.

The day that I walked out of the church after David’s funeral, I knew that I had undergone a profound change and my life would never be the same. His earthly journey had ended after a mere 46 years. Not only that, it had ended violently.

I have never been personally touched by violence before. I had heard all the stories and sympathized with the victims and their families but I have never known it up close and personal.

Now I do.

It  is an ugly world out there. Evil exists.  This is a world dominated by tears, grief, and pain. There are no guarantees.

As if to underscore this fact, shortly after I returned home I learned that an old friend had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

Then I watched the Passion 2012 conference featuring Louie Giglio, Beth Moore, Francis Chan, Christine Caine, and John Piper. They wanted to raise awareness  about the horror of human trafficking. There are 27 million slaves in this world today, more than at any other time in human history. Hearing the real life stories of freed slaves was heart-wrenching and a fresh reminder of man’s inhumanity to man.

My eyes are now fully opened to the fact that this world is not my home.  I”m never meant to feel comfortable here. I will treasure the joys I find but I will no longer live in the mirage of safety.

When I recently read the courageous words of Esther, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16) I thought, “What an incredibly freeing way to live!” The apostle Paul would echo her bold words centuries later when he wrote, “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself , if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20:24).

I don’t know what is going to happen to me tomorrow. But one thing I do know. My Savior knows the number of the days He has given me.

He holds me in the palm of His hand.

Nothing touches me without His permission.

He has a vision for my life…one that honors Him and makes Him famous in my sphere of influence.

He knows what He is doing at all times.

He is firmly on His throne. He is good. He does all things well.

His intends that my primary focus be on HIM…not on living a safe, tidy existence.

He intends for me to live every single day in faith…not fear.

The bottom line is that I am on this earth for one reason: to bring glory to my Savior.

And one day, He will declare that my work on this earth is done and He will call me to my true home in Heaven. To Himself. To eternal joy. To endless day.

In the meantime, He promises to protect me, to guide me, to fill every single one of the days He has given me with purpose and grace. He calls me His beloved. He restores my broken places.  He rejoices over me with singing.  His Word reminds me that this world is not all there is. He says that I am more than a conqueror.  He promises to meet every single one of my needs.  He commands me not to worry. He promises to fill me with His strength that will enable me to victoriously take on any challenge that He allows into my life.

Therefore, I have adopted this  as my life verse from this day forward: “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me. I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.” (Phil. 4:13, Amplified version).

I am ready for anything and equal to anything because Christ lives in me.

Whether I have one day or one thousand days left on this earth, I will live each one to the fullest.

I will run the race ahead of me with courage, grace, and the deep  joy that explodes eternally from the heart of Christ.

There is nothing to fear.

“It’s time to leave low-living
and sight walking
and small planning
and smooth knees
and colorless dreams
and tame vision
and mindless talking
and mundane thinking
and cheap giving
and dwarfed goals
It’s time to soar on eagle’s wings.”
—Anne Graham Lotz

Photo credit: noviee83

John 1: 3-5 joyfully declares this about Jesus:

Everything was created through Him; nothing—not one thing!—came into being without Him. What came into existence was Life and the Life was the Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness ; the darkness couldn’t put it out. (The Message version; italics added).

I needed to be reminded of that today.

One of the  things I enjoy most about the Christmas season is all the  lights. I go crazy with the white lights inside our home. There are lights everywhere. This year, we decided to take the lights outside too. We had a reindeer and a Christmas tree in our front yard. In the back yard, we strung icicle lights all along our deck.

I loved looking out into the inky blackness and seeing those white lights  on the deck twinkling. So, we decided to keep those lights up all winter long. I leave them on all night.

Sometimes winter is tough for me. After the joy and excitement of the holidays, January and February seem so gray and dreary. I suspect that this year may be rougher than those in the past, due to the tragedy that struck my family last month.

I have been having some trouble sleeping lately. It has been an enormous comfort to see those white lights lighting up the darkness on the nights when sleep is stubbornly elusive.

They are a constant reminder to me that the Light of Jesus shines forever, regardless of the blackest night.

There is no darkness that He cannot penetrate. Darkness can never overcome His light.

I need to remember that when the world seems so dark around me.

His Light radiates undimmed, absolutely unaffected by anything that happens on this earth.

Right now His Light is veiled from our sight but it still burns on in eternity.

And there is coming a day when that Light will be unveiled and it will saturate and illuminate every single inch of this vast universe (Revelation 21 & Rev. 22:1-5).

Until faith becomes sight, I will rest in the knowledge that His Light shines forever and always.

Darkness was absolutely defeated at the Cross. Darkness never has the final word.

As a result of the cross, I carry His Light in my heart and He has given me the precious light of His Word. Therefore, I will not be overcome by the darkness.

I will live in the Light.

His face was like the sun shining in full power at midday. (Revelation 1:16)