Monthly Archives: February 2014

Earlier today, a Facebook friend posted the following question:

“If you had a choice of going away for a few days…or replacing a dirty, worn, gross carpet with different flooring in your living room for your anniversary, which would you pick?”

One of her friends almost immediately responded that she and her husband have been married for 22 years and have never gone on a vacation together…but they have a lovely home.

To me, that answer is extremely sad and  represents a terrible trade-off.

As I continued to watch the post, I was shocked at how many people told my friend to buy the carpet and forego the anniversary trip.

Really?

Even the most beautiful home will one day fall into dis-repair.  The furnishings within those homes will break and wear out. Nothing stays new and fresh forever.

Our time on this earth is a gift given to us by God. None of us know how long we have or what a day will bring.

I have stood helplessly beside the caskets of my best friend Tracy, who died at the age of 21; my cousin David who was brutally murdered at the age of 46; and my dad who died of a heart attack at age 71.

All of those deaths came suddenly. One moment they were here; the next they had entered into eternity.

This life is a vapor. No one is promised tomorrow.

So when I hear people telling my friend to spend the money on a carpet rather than precious time with her husband, this is just appalling.

Who cares about the new carpet?  A carpet can be replaced at any time. A precious life cannot.

What would you choose?

I have never met a more radiant, joy-filled person than  Kim Newlen.

Photo Credit: Sweet Mondays

I only met Kim once but I have never forgotten her.

Not only was Kim the founder of an international ministry called Sweet Mondays, she was also an author, inventor, speaker, and Guinness world record holder.

A couple of years ago,  our little community was blessed when Kim came to our church to speak.

My fellow Bible study leaders were asked to come in and help Kim set up before her talk that day. The minute I walked into our fellowship hall, I noticed her bright light. My friend Marj introduced me to Kim and within moments I felt as if I had known her all my life. Her warmth, her charm, her sense of  humor,  her absolutely radiant smile and the sparkle in her eyes all testified to a woman who loved life and lived every day to the fullest.

But despite her tiny frame and soft Southern drawl, she was one tough lady who had survived many heartaches and trials, including an excruciating and complicated bout with breast cancer. But rather than dim her faith, those times of testing only served to fuel an already strong faith into a blaze that could not be contained.

Rather than surrender to bitterness or a “why me?” attitude, Kim surrendered to Jesus and in turn showed all of us the resulting beauty of living a life of “yes.”

I was so inspired by her.

Several months ago, we received news that Kim’s cancer had returned with a vengeance. Every few days, a post from Kim would appear on my Facebook newsfeed. There was that same brave smile that revealed her indomitable spirit.  Even in the midst of treatment, hooked up to wires and the standard white plastic hospital bracelet around her wrist, Kim managed to add a dash of panache with a colorful scarf,  headband, or flower pin. One day, she even posted a picture of her toenails painted with bright yellow smiley faces.  🙂

Sadly, the news on her treatment got progressively worse but one of her friends wrote on Facebook, ” Despite the fact that her body has been ravaged by chemo and that she is continually weary, Kim keeps getting back in the ring, never losing her bright smile or unwavering faith.” 

After a long and valiant fight, Kim’s struggle ended yesterday and she was ushered into the presence of the Savior that she loved so much. Forever free from pain and death and sorrow, she is at this very moment basking in the joy of seeing His beautiful face.

In church today,  our pastor announced Kim’s death and shared his own memories of her. He mentioned that when she had visited the parsonage to speak to the widows in our church, she had worn high heels. Since the floors there are soft pine, Kim’s heels left imprints wherever she walked. Pastor Steve said that they are still there to this day, testifying to the fact that Kim had been there.

Then he reminded us that we all leave imprints with our lives.

What will the imprint of your life look like?

Take a moment and think about your legacy.

You are only here once. What do you want your life to say?

Kim only lived for 57 years but the impact of her one short life will continue on in countless ways. I am just so grateful that our paths crossed in this life. Her bright example will continue to inspire me, especially as I go through the valleys. I want to keep getting back in the ring, just like she did.

Please keep her husband Mark and their daughter Kali in your prayers as they adjust to life without their sweet Kim.

“Carve your names on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”—Shannon Adler

Photo credit: Google

Have you ever decided to forego the usual answer of “Just fine, thanks!” when someone asks you how you are doing?

To do that means to risk being vulnerable by deciding to be honest with the fact that you are struggling and life isn’t fun right now.

And when you do that, are you met with a Christian platitude and a big smile?

That happened to me recently and to be honest, I felt like I had been slapped.

Yes…I know that He works all things for good.

Yes…I know that He can bring beauty from ashes.

Yes…I know that this too shall pass.

In that moment when I have been honest, I do not need to be told these things.

I need someone to  just listen, to say, “I’m sorry” or “I will be praying for you.”

I am not saying that people who spout platitudes are not kind or caring. They are often well-meaning and sweet.

But they are often misguided.

Sometimes I think people don’t know what to do with Christians who are struggling. It seems to make them anxious, like they must have the perfect answer or  that they are  fearful of  standing with you on the dangerous ground of doubt and pain as if your words represent thin ice.

My faith is not wavering. I am keeping a running dialogue with Jesus as  I wrestle with Him about the things He has allowed and could have stopped.  (By the way, He totally invites us to do that with Him: Isaiah 1:18; I Peter 5:7; Genesis 32:22-32 ). I know that He is good and kind and wise, faithful and utterly trustworthy.

Wrestling is not a sign of lack of faith; it is a healthy sign of a faith that still blazes brightly in the face of darkness and questions. Wrestling is courageous and bold, a willingness to be raw and honest with your Savior, rather than sweeping everything under the rug and pretending your feelings and questions don’t exist. By the very act of wrestling, you are choosing to stay and work it out rather than run away or numb yourself with endless amusements and entertainments.

Wrestling is a refusal to listen to the taunting, cruel voice of the enemy who tells you that you have been abandoned and nothing good is coming. Rather, you open His Word and allow it to light your path (Psalm 119:105) because His Word—not your feelings or circumstances—is the ultimate reality.

For I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion).”—Jesus (Matthew 28:20).

So, the next time a fellow believer shares a struggle with you, please refrain from talking at them by quoting a Bible verse or repeating a tired platitude. To do so is to allow them to leave your presence feeling unheard and isolated.

Instead, look them in the eye, be brave enough to enter into their struggle without feeling that you have to offer any solutions, tell them you are sorry for their pain and keep them in your prayers.

That will be so much more comforting.