My dad Ralph (right) & childhood friend Joe, both Korean War veterans
“Freedom is never given; it is won.”
A Repellent Gift
I heard a true story at Bible study last night that I just had to share.
One of the women related that she and her best friend had decided to go hiking since it was a beautiful summer day. They are both moms to two very active special-needs boys and this seemed to be a perfect way to enjoy the beautiful outdoors and give the kids a chance to burn all that energy.
They envisioned a fun-filled, perfect day and set out in high spirits.
Everything went downhill very quickly. It was hot, the boys decided they weren’t really in the mood for a hike, and the bugs were out with a vengeance…so much so that it was nearly impossible to savor the charm of the mountains. The friends chided themselves for failing to remember to bring the bug spray.
Still, they persevered and reached the top. At the top of this particular trail, there is a large cross.
And there….sitting right next to the cross…was a can of bug spray.
This sweet lady was quick to assure us that the area was pristine. It wasn’t as if there was garbage lying around. She added that the bug spray was not generic. It was name-brand, top-of-the-line…and there was just enough left in the can to completely cover the four of them. This freed them to truly enjoy the rest of the afternoon, taking in the wonderful view and relishing their time together.
Before they headed back down the trail (and since the can was empty), she took it with her as a visible reminder of God’s perfect care for His own.
This is one of the myriad of reasons that I love Jesus. No detail is too small to elicit His attention. He cares about everything that concerns us. He feels what we feel. The very hairs on our head are numbered. He is a good God who desires to richly give to us all things to enjoy.
So, on a warm summer day, He made sure that two friends and their precious sons could enjoy the beauty of His creation by providing a little bug spray at just the right time.
He is most definitely in the details…and whatever it is you need today, He has it covered!
…Casting the whole of your care (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. —I Peter 5:7 (Amplified)
Filed under Devotions
The Swing
I spent much of Father’s Day out on our deck, sitting on my dad’s swing.
This is one of my most cherished possessions.
My mom, brother, Doug and I gave this to my dad as a surprise Father’s Day present many years ago and he loved it so much. Every spring he could hardly wait to bring it out of the shed and place it in the corner of the back yard.
We spent hours on that swing…talking, laughing, solving all the world’s problems, listening to music, and visiting with friends and family.
Here is Dad blowing bubbles with Josh. You can plainly see the swing in the background. He obviously fancied it up way more than I do 🙂 (Thanks to my cousin Sarah who captured this particular moment in time).
This is Dad and Julia sharing a moment on the swing:
That little girl was the light of his life. My big, tough dad would melt like butter in a hot frying pan when his only granddaughter was in the room.
My cousin Johanna, who was visiting from Michigan:
This is my dad’s older sister, my Aunt Dot showing off all her fine jewelry:
I’m not sure what Julia is so unhappy about in this next photo with her childhood playmates Jessica and Justin, but clearly, she was not pleased. Jessica is now a college student and sweet Justin lost his battle with leukemia eight years ago when he was only six. He was such a bright light and had the sweetest spirit of any little boy I have ever known. He will always be missed:
Josh and Grandma are enjoying the shade after playing some basketball. (Little known fact: my mom was a star basketball player in high school):
I love the look on Josh’s face as he talks to Grandma. They have always shared a very special bond:
The following photo is the definition of exhaustion. Their cousins Tom and Molly had visited that day and they had played hard:
This is Aunt Dot and me with the kids. My hair hasn’t been that short or that dark for many years: 🙂
My Aunt Dot (who clearly loved the swing as much as my dad did!), Aunt Audrey (who was married to my dad’s older brother Bob), and my mom. We lost Aunt Audrey last year at the age of 89.
Rewinding a few years, here is our dear family friend Voni holding Josh, who was around 6 or 7 months old. It’s not very clear in this photo but for the first year of his life, Josh had a wild head of curls. We called it “Kramer hair” after Cosmo Kramer of “Seinfeld” fame:
My cousin Sarah was visiting from Maryland one summer:
I have absolutely no idea what Josh was doing here. He had borrowed my dad’s walking stick and his grandma’s straw hat. For some unknown reason, he was also wearing a Yankees outfit. Clearly Doug (who is a devoted Red Sox fan) was not with us during this trip to my hometown. He would never have permitted such a travesty!
After my dad died in 2002 and my family and I moved to south Florida, my mom sent the swing with us.
Just seeing it on our deck brings back so many wonderful memories. I feel close to my dad when I use it and this past Father’s Day was no different. The swing now overlooks the mountains rather than the backyard of my childhood home, but the sweet memories remain.
“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.”
Filed under Friends and Family, Uncategorized
Note To My 14 Year-Old Self
My daughter had a sleepover yesterday.
There was much laughter, squealing, the low hum of constant chatter late into the night, and sugar-fueled energy. This morning, the bowl of Skittles is almost empty and most of the Dr. Pepper 2-liters are drained.
Right now, they are getting ready to go to the town beach and as I listen to all the preparations, I remember what it was like to be that age. Sometimes, I wish I had known then what I know now.
For example:
1. Your parents really did know what they were talking about.
2. Treasure your time with your best friend Tracy. She will leave this earth in only eight short years.
3. Your pesky little brother will be one of your very best friends someday.
4. Do not use “Sun In” when you go to the beach. You will think your hair looks beautiful and natural…but that color doesn’t exist in nature.
5. When going to the beach, do NOT bring that lightweight silver blanket that soaks up the sun’s rays at an alarming speed. And by all means, do NOT only use tanning oil as you stretch out on it and bake yourself for the next several hours. Your 40 year old self will thank you for this.
6. Whenever you have the thought, “This is the end of the world!” …trust me….it isn’t.
7. There is life after math. There is coming a glorious day when no one will ask you to find that maddening ” X” ever again. You will however, break out into a cold sweat and feel your throat close up when—many, many years from now—your child comes to you with questioning eyes and holds out an algebra problem. You will then instruct them never to do that to you again and send them immediately to find their father, who never met a math problem he couldn’t solve.
8. You will be horribly embarrassed at the travesty that was considered fashion in the 1980s. Your children will mock you both for your teenage “style” and for your huge hair.
9. At the same time, you will forever love the music from that decade and will teach your children to love it too.
10. Don’t be afraid to dream big. You have a big God.
11. Enjoy being able to eat whatever you want without gaining an ounce.
12. One day your prince will come and he will be worth the wait. It turns out that you like redheads after all. 🙂
And lastly…tell your mom to advise the Olan Mills photographer to nix asking you to strike this cheesy pose:
What would you tell your 14 year old self?
Filed under Uncategorized
Giver Or Taker?
This summer, our church is hosting a study called “The Inheritance” by Beth Moore.
Last week, Beth began the session by asking a very probing question and she encouraged us to not answer too quickly but really search our hearts and here it is:
“In your heart of hearts and in the darkest dark, do you believe that God is a Giver or a Taker?”
My first reaction was, “I don’t even have to think about that one…of course, He is a Giver!”
Immediately, I felt a check in my spirit that shocked me.
“Jesus?” I prayed silently. “Of course I believe that. Right?”
As He always does, Jesus gently but clearly showed me that deep, deep down, in recent months, I have been focused more on what He has allowed to be taken from me than all He has given.
I was stunned.
Later that evening right before I went to bed, I read this Scripture and it took my breath away: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Jesus gave Himself––for me!
And yet, so often I totally miss that earth-shattering, life-altering truth because I am so focused on what I do not have..when all along, I have the one and only Person I will ever need…Him!
Just like Eve in the garden, I become blind to the abundance around me and choose to focus on that small area of my life where God has said no…and I completely miss the countless times when He has joyfully proclaimed, “YES!”
My heart was flooded with remorse, as I thought about how my yearning to reclaim what has been taken must have pierced His heart. He has given me the matchless Gift of Himself and in the deep recesses of my heart, I have declared, ” It’s not enough. I want ______.”
It pains me to see those words in black and white.
At the same time, I am so grateful that Jesus cares enough to shine His healing and penetrating light into those dark recesses that act as barriers to my intimacy with Him. He longs for us to be real with Him, no matter how raw our feelings are. He can take it. Nothing we will say surprises Him. His knowledge of us is total and complete. (Psalm 139:1-5)
A quick journey through the Bible reveals the myriad of other gifts He loves to give those who belong to Him:
*the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14)
*eternal life (John 3:16)
*life in all its abundance and fullness (John 10:10)
*the same power that raised Jesus from the dead (Ephesians 1:19-20)
*forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7)
*the riches of God’s grace (Ephesians 1:7)
*our daily bread (Luke 11:3)
*redemption (Ephesians 1:7)
*exceedingly great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4)
*peace (John 14:27)
*freedom from all fear (2 Timothy 1:7)
*a living Hope (I Peter 1:3)
*unconditional love (Jeremiah 31:3)
*spiritual gifts (I Corinthians 12:1)
*never-failing provision (I Timothy 6:17)
*a home in Heaven (John 14:1-3)
*treasure in Heaven (Matthew 6:20)
*blessing upon blessing (John 1:16)
*His very own unsurpassed joy that has nothing at all to do with circumstances (John 15:11)
*mercies that are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23)
*friendship with Him (John 15:15)
*everything we need (2 Peter 1:3)
And that is just the beginning! The nature of all that He continually and eternally gives to us is simply staggering! Christians are rich beyond all measure in that which truly matters.
Yes, our great God is most certainly a Giver.
He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also…graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32).
Filed under Devotions
Oh How The Years Go By
I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning out our homeschooling armoire.
I thought that it would be a fairly quick undertaking, as I had planned just to open a garbage bag, dump most of the contents inside, and be done with it.
Who was I kidding?
This task ended up taking hours and eventually I was surrounded on the floor by remnants of the past four years. There were postcards from various field trips, some loose photographs, notebooks filled with writing assignments, careful cursive practice, several strips of Julia’s self-penned comic strip ” Mousey,” math worksheets, meticulously written results from the many science projects done around our kitchen table, some history books from the ‘Beautiful Feet’ curriculum that we all loved.
(Side note: I hated history in school. It was all so boring, simply memorizing dates so I could pass the test. My dad was a major history buff and tried many times to convince me that it was absolutely fascinating. It wasn’t until I started reading history in story form to my kids through this curriculum that I finally realized how right he was. I learned so much, right along with the kids. So many nights during those years, Doug would come home and I would tell him something I had learned that day. I would ask, “Did you know that??!” And always, he would smile affectionately and say, yes, he had learned that way-back-when in school.) 🙂
When I finally finished clearing everything out, filing what I needed to, getting rid of the garbage bags, I closed the armoire door…and realized anew that the door to that sweet season has closed.
Soon afterward, I turned on my iPod and was amazed at the Vanessa Williams song that started to play:
Oh how the years go by
Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes, the soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry…as the years go by
They certainly do.
Filed under Uncategorized
Jesus Loves Me
Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.
Our pastor had the congregation sing this song at church this morning.
There truly is no more profound message that everyone on the face of this earth needs to know.
Jesus. Loves. You.
Beautifully simple.
Eternally true.
Astonishingly gracious.
Incredibly joyful.
Wonderfully freeing.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.–John 3:16
Filed under Devotions
Running Toward the Oven
The other day I was talking to a good friend and she related a true story that really spoke to me.
Years ago, she was hosting a birthday party for a family member. She had opened the oven door to remove the lasagna she had made, without realizing that her very exuberant two year old son had just seen an opportunity.
To her horror, she saw that he was running full speed across the kitchen right toward the open oven! Most kids that age are fascinated with boxes and this little guy had spotted a really cool looking one!
Naturally, my friend quickly closed the oven door and physically stopped him from seriously injuring himself.
He had been thwarted from doing what he thought would be something fun…but his mom was saving him from tremendous pain and possibly death.
The result was a furious child. He collapsed on the floor, screaming and crying. His two year old mind could not possibly conceive the big picture. All he knew is that his plan had been stopped cold and he didn’t understand it or like it. Of course, his mother knew exactly what she was doing. She deeply loved her child and was saving him from himself.
I couldn’t help but think how much I have behaved like that two year old with my Heavenly Father.
So often, I have worked out a plan that seems very reasonable and perfect for my situation…but God says no.
I may not have a visible temper tantrum like the little boy I just mentioned, but I can certainly have an inward spirit of disputing. Why won’t God just let me have what I want? It makes so much sense! It’s very easy to resent an unanswered prayer.
However…I have lived long enough to know that my heavenly Father sees the big picture…always. When He says no, He has an excellent reason. I have learned that when I submit to Him, He pours out His abundance in ways that I could never have imagined and my joy overflows (Eph. 3:20). I see that He is the greatest gift of all.
He is a good God who loves to give good gifts to His children; however, my definition of good and God’s definition of good are often very different.
He tells us as much in His Word: “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” —Isaiah 55:8-9.
The bottom line is that God is God…and I am not. He knows all things…and I don’t.
I have countless examples of how He has saved me from myself and I am incredibly grateful. I certainly was not at the time…but with age comes wisdom. In time, I came to see that if God had given me what I wanted, I would have ended up being miserable.
If I am honest, many of those prayers concerned my temporary happiness…while God is interested in my holiness. As James MacDonald said in his excellent study When Life Is Hard:
“When you use the word ‘holiness’ people roll their eyes or wince. Holiness? That’s it? This proves that we don’t get what holiness is yet. Holiness…is the complete state of God-centeredness and God-likeness. If you choose to sin you choose to suffer. Holiness is the absence of everything that causes turmoil, pain, restlessness, and fear.” p. 40
So, the next time I am ‘running toward the oven’ and God firmly closes the door, I will endeavor to remember that He loves me with an unconditional love and is saving me from pain that I am not able to see from my limited vantage point.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. —James 1:17
Time Marches On…
Today was the last day of school in our community.
As I sat in the high school parking lot waiting to pick up my son, the final bell rang and the only way I can describe what happened next was an explosion. Suddenly, the doors blasted open and hundreds of kids burst from that building in joyful celebration.
There were high fives and fist pumps; burst of laughter and excited chatter; the sound of tires pealing as teens with cars sped out of the parking lot, leaving behind the books and tests and racing toward a summer of freedom.
Why does it just seem like yesterday that that was me?
As I drove my son home, listening to his recitation of what his last day had been like, I thought back to earlier in the week when one of my childhood friends had posted a photo of himself on Facebook.
He stood proudly beside his truck wearing a T-shirt that read: “#1 Grandpa.”
Excuse me…what?
This man was one of my brother’s best friends. He had grown up one street over from us and is four years younger than I am. I had known that he had become a grandfather last year…but there was something about seeing him wearing a shirt announcing that there is now someone on this earth that calls him “Grandpa” that was jarring to me.
I am now 46 years old and I am okay with that. I have no desire to go back in time and re-live my youth, even if that were possible.
My body has slowed down. As a result of back surgery, there are things I can no longer do.
I am at peace with aging…that is part of life. I make no attempt to forestall the inevitable wrinkles (although I do admit to visiting the salon every six weeks to take care of those ever-increasing gray hairs!). To me, real beauty is not an unnaturally smooth face of a woman in her fourth decade or beyond. I see true beauty in my mother’s face. Every line tells a story of a life fully lived….that is beautiful.
Yet…even though I am 46, I actually feel like I am still 21. As silly as it sounds, it was only fairly recently that I realized that Doug and I no longer qualified as part of the “young marrieds” at church. 🙂
Am I the only one? Do you feel older or younger than your years?
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”—Unknown
Filed under Uncategorized
Sometimes…
Sometimes there are no pretty words.
Sometimes there are just tears, sadness, anger…and a heart that cries, “WHY????”
Sometimes it takes a sheer force of the will to read these words and choose to believe them when Heaven seems maddeningly silent: “May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the Name of the God of Jacob protect you…May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed…. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now this I know: the Lord gives victory to His anointed. He answers him from His heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of His right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God. Lord… answer us when we call! ” –Psalm 20
Sometimes He sends help and grace in the form of dear friends–and a wonderful mom— who are willing to pray on your behalf when you can’t seem to find the words.
Sometimes (actually always) it is a wonderful thing to feel your husband’s strong arms around you and see his warm smile…knowing that we are in this together.
Sometimes the words of one of my favorite authors is a balm to my soul: “Do you believe that God loves you without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be?” …a much-needed reminder of the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father when I am not at my best.
And sometimes…near the end of a rough day, my good God sends me a glimpse of His beautiful creative heart, right on my deck…a reminder that something very beautiful can come from something ugly:
Sometimes it’s good to remember that even the longest road has a bend.
And always…hope lives.
Filed under Devotions, Uncategorized
Power Of A Moment 