Power Of A Moment

Recently, my friend Janet suggested that I read a book called Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. It is the first in a wildly popular series that is a unique combination of history, romance, intrigue, adventure, and even some science fiction (in the form of time travel).

I loved it.

I finished the 640 page  novel in two weeks and am already into the second book in the series.

I was intrigued by the author, so I checked out her YouTube channel and listened as she talked about her writing process. She shared that she had always wanted to write a novel since she was 8 years old.

Several years later, she just decided to begin. The time was hardly ideal: her husband had just started a new business, she had a full time job as a college professor, and her children were small.

She seized the one time of day where she had time and  quiet (which happened to be 12-4 in the morning) and she started to write with only a vague idea of a character. She had no expectation that anyone would ever see this work, but she was willing to try.

What I loved most about that story was that she did it!

She just didn’t talk about it; she just didn’t  think about it. She certainly didn’t wait for the perfect time to begin (is there really such a thing? I think not).

She simply took the first step toward her dream.

I find that so inspiring!

That day was different from all the rest because she took action…and that was the first day of the rest of her life. Eight books later, she is successful beyond her wildest imaginations.

But that isn’t truly the point.

The point is that she wasn’t afraid to attempt her dream.

We only get one turn on this planet.

What is your dream?

Will you let one more day go by without taking a step toward living it?

What do you have to lose?

Nobody else has your vision, your experiences, your unique way of seeing this world. If you don’t release what is on the inside, we will all miss out.  You have a creative voice! Decide to use it.

Try.

So what if it isn’t perfect? If you wait for perfection, you will never begin. Trust me, you will learn something valuable from every attempt.

Let no one else define you. Be who you are. You have been created in the image of God. In fact, He declares you to be His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10).

Don’t get to the end of your life and be filled with regret for never chasing your dream.

Make the decision to take one step toward your dream today.

Who knows where that first step will lead you?!

“Don’t die with the music still in you.”—Wayne Dyer

 

 

 

This past weekend, I joined a friend and her daughter on a trek to my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA.

My friend’s daughter had been accepted at the prestigious Carnegie Mellon University summer theater group. They had never been to Pittsburgh before so I offered to go along to show them the way. (There is no rhyme or reason to the streets in Pittsburgh and it can be quite daunting to navigate).

My expectations were that we would travel as my family travels when we drive to Pittsburgh.

Knowing what a long drive it is, we focus with laser-like intensity on one goal: getting there. We make as little stops as possible. If we stop to eat, it is strictly fast food. Sometimes we don’t even bother to get out of the car. We just go through the drive-thru and eat in the car as we whiz down the highway.

(There are also some in my family…perhaps someone who is writing this blog…who sometimes tends to take the speed limits as suggestions and perhaps occasionally may go a tad faster than the posted signs allow).

That isn’t what happened on this trip.

The pace was leisurely, unhurried. Every meal was at a sit-down restaurant. There was a visit with another family. There were sightseeing and photo opportunities. And the speed limit was observed rigorously.

It was really quite lovely and I enjoyed it a lot.

However, at first, I was extremely freaked out.

My thoughts went along these lines: ” What are we doing?! We have such a long drive ahead of us! We don’t have time for this!!!” 

I texted my husband about the latest turn of events and this was his response: “Look at it as a chance to practice not being in control.”

Not exactly what a Type A person wants to hear.

But it was exactly what I needed to hear.

As we meandered along the highways and byways of Pennsylvania, I thought a lot about expectations. Expectations have a unique power to cause tension in relationships, sour an attitude, ruin a situation, and create unrest and unease. Expectations can choke joy.

How tightly do you hold onto your expectations? How willing are you to let them go…and perhaps discover a detour that delights your soul?

“A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.”—Jonathan Lockwood Huie. 

There is a time in all our lives when we have just sit back and enjoy the ride.

The truth is, the ONLY thing that we can control is our own attitudes.

I was not in the driver’s seat during this trip. I was strictly a passenger. So, I accepted my role…and immediately relaxed. I was along for the ride and I intended to enjoy the journey.

Even when we got to  the hotel in the middle of the city after midnight. Did I mention that there was a water main break, which did not allow us to shower?

Good times. 🙂

 

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”—Maya Angelou

 

I have written many times on this blog about my deep love of Ann Voskamp’s book 1000 Gifts.

Counting the gifts that I am blessed with everyday has revolutionized my life and multiplied my joy. It has caused me to be awake to my life, to recognize the beauty of the moments before they pass away forever.

I was given a wonderful gift this evening, one that I will long remember.

Today was my son’s last day of high school. He celebrated by hiking up a mountain with some friends.

Meanwhile, my daughter and I went to see the movie The Fault In Our Stars. We both loved the book and in one of life’s most satisfying moments, the movie was just as good as the book.  The casting was perfect. There were plenty of laughter and tears. It was brilliant.

We pulled into the driveway at the exact same time as my son, who was just returning from his hike.

He made several trips into the kitchen with the contents of his locker, as well as his instruments that he had kept in the band room. My kitchen counters were littered with the assorted and random stuff that makes up an entire school year.

Then he walked in with a tall wooden chair that swiveled all the way around. He put it down in the corner of the kitchen. Turns out that one of his favorite teachers was getting rid of it and granted his request to take it home with him. Apparently, it is also going to college with him in the fall. 🙂

I took a seat on it and spun around a few times. And that’s where I stayed for the next 45 minutes as I talked with my kids.

My mom was at prayer meeting and Doug was at a business dinner. It was just the three of us.

They each sat on top of the kitchen counters while I spun. We talked and we laughed. They joked with each other. Josh showed us a book that his favorite English teacher had given to him. They discussed their favorite poets (Maya Angelou and Robert Frost). Josh read some of the things his fellow classmates had written in his yearbook. He expressed delight that nearly everyone said that he was one of the funniest people they have ever met. The talk turned to the upcoming graduation and subsequent parties we were all invited to.  Josh made fresh lemonade and we all nibbled on jellybeans.

And I paid attention. 

I was simultaneously participating in the conversation and savoring the moment, knowing that times like these will be fewer and fewer in the days ahead.

I gave thanks for all the years of homeschooling, when it was just the three of us during the day, sharing learning and adventures. Those days, while some of them were very difficult and trying, were such a gift.

I see that so clearly now. I didn’t always, then.

It ended all too soon. The kids went their separate ways and the downstairs got quiet.

And my heart was full as I watched the sky open up and pour down rain.

 

If you are a Christ follower, did you know that you are a missionary?

Missionaries are not limited to those who live in foreign lands in order to share the gospel. You are a missionary right in your own town.

I was reminded of this last night.

My husband and I ran into the local grocery store last night in response to our daughter’s text informing us of her urgent need for shampoo and conditioner. And as we turned the corner, there was a fellow parent from our son’s senior class.

She was widowed at the start of the school year. We had walked with her through the dark days of her husband’s diagnosis, his grueling and heartbreaking treatment, death, and funeral. Many tears were shed and sometimes when there were no words, we were able to give the gift of our presence. Our sons are both very actively involved in school activities so our paths have crossed often.

It can be so hard to know what to do in situations like this. Everyone responds to grief and stress differently.

So I did what I could.

I picked up my camera and took photos of her son at every school event that his dad was too weak to attend so that he could see what he had missed and feel like he was there.

When he was well enough to attend things, I took photos of him with his wife and his son. I snapped the last photo of him before his death: standing by the lake in the bright late May sunshine, proudly  wearing his hat that represented his 20 years of service in the Navy. After I clicked the shutter, I pretended to examine my camera so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

I offered to take walks with her and we covered a lot of territory in this small town.

One afternoon, I had been at the grocery store and drove all the way home before I realized that I had forgotten something. I admit that I was irritated as I ran into the store, bought the one item and rushed into the parking lot. It was cold and it was getting dark and I was anxious to get home.

This friend was just pulling into the parking lot next to my car. I could see that she had been crying, having had to escape her sad home where death was stalking her family, if even for a little while.

I knew then that this was a divine appointment.  We must have stayed in that parking lot for an hour that night. She poured out her pain and her questions and I listened.

I invited her to church. She politely declined the invitation.  I shared the hope of the gospel. She was not interested. I told her that I pray for her daily. She thanked me. We invited her and her son over for a family dinner at Christmastime and she was brave enough to try my cooking and lived to tell the tale. 🙂

In this, her son’s senior year of high school, she has shown up to every event, every awards ceremony, every band concert alone. We have arrived early to save seats, greeted her with a friendly wave and a smile, and rejoiced with her at her son’s many achievements and successes. I have continued to take photos, documenting her son’s senior year for her.

And last night, my husband and I stood in the shampoo aisle for nearly an hour as we talked and laughed and she & I predicted that we would be sobbing messes on graduation day next week. We agreed to do a lot more walking in the never-ending quest to be healthy forty-somethings.

On the way out of the store, we see one of my daughter’s classmates at the end of our aisle, cheerfully bagging our groceries. This girl lost her mama at the beginning of the school year. She has been to our home, eaten at our  table. There is never any mention of a father. So, I pick up my camera and I document her events and post them to her Facebook page since her mama isn’t here to do it. I ask her about her summer plans and encourage her as she gets ready to embark on a new adventure. We leave her with a smile.

Ministry can absolutely happen at the local grocery store.

This morning, I logged onto Facebook and saw that my friend  had written on my wall, thanking Doug and me for being “little bits of sunshine in my day whenever I see them.”

I felt led to share all of this to remind anyone who reads it that we are all missionaries. We all have a ministry.

As you can see, I did not do anything extraordinary here. I listened. I walked, I took pictures. I cooked a meal. I prayed. I shared the gospel when He led me to do so.

You can do the same.

All Jesus asks us to do is show up. To be available. To use what we have to bless others. God has gifted you with unique talents, experiences, and abilities. It is no accident that you live in the town you do and know the people you know. He is at work all the time.

There is so much need out there. There is so much pain and brokenness.

We are all broken somehow and we need each other.

In today’s Jesus Calling, Sarah Young writes: “Look at other people through the lens of Love; see them from My perspective…be radiant with the Light of My Presence.” (p. 168).

This world is a dark place. We know the One who is the Light of the world. Love people right where they are. Do what you can and leave the results to Him.

Shine for Him right where you are.

“…Get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God has called you to travel…Say only what helps, each word a gift…Keep company with (Jesus) and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of Himself to us. Love like that…Make the most of every chance you get…Forget yourself long enough to lend  helping hand…Do everything readily and cheerfully! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society: Provide people with a glimpse of the living God. Carry the light-giving message into the night.” (excerpts from Ephesians and Philippians, The Message version). 

This is the rich, blessed life.

 

Life has been busy lately.

Prom season, end-of-year church ministries, track meets, etc.

I love it all.

Here are some highlights from the past few weeks…

There were 22 kids here at the house before last week’s prom:

Kids these days look so sophisticated, compared to the 80s when I was a teenager.

Case in point:

(You’re welcome).

I was also the prom photographer and after taking an hour and a half worth of pre-prom photos, my fabulous assistant (my husband Doug) and I drove to the prom venue to begin setting up.

It is difficult to make a ski lodge look pretty, but the class of 2014 pulled it off. The theme was The Great Gatsby.

My son and his date looked incredibly stylish and classic:

The evening was filled with high energy, great music, and good food.

However, today’s dancing had us adults at the prom perplexed.

Apparently, all you need to be able to dance these days is gather many people in a tight circle and jump up and down.

If you are a guy, it is also cool to immediately remove your shirt after dinner and spend the rest of the evening in just your vest.

I also photographed last year’s prom and by the time the prom king was crowned, he looked like this:

(His tux pants were also rolled up to his knees 🙂 ).

Ah, youth.

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Track season at our high school is nearing its end but it’s been a good one for our daughter Julia, who qualified for the state meet in the high jump.

We were just at a meet this past Saturday and I saw a wonderful example of sportsmanship.

A young man from our high school is a true track star. He runs long distances while barely breaking a sweat and is gracious to all of his fellow competitors.

After he handily won the 3200, he turned right around and cheered for all of his fellow runners as they crossed the finish line. He shook several hands, then cheered loudest for the boy who came in last.

That boy promptly collapsed onto the track, in obvious pain.

“Get up!” one of his teammates barked mercilessly.

Rather than yell at him, this young man walked over to help him to his feet until he could get to his coach.

Class act.

It’s fun taking photos at track meets because of all the cool action shots one can capture.

**********

May also means Memorial Day parades and our little town does it right. Seeing the faces of veterans always brings tears to my eyes.

I am so incredibly grateful for our veterans and it is always heartwarming to see so many people turn out to honor their valor and sacrifice.

**********

Each year, our church hosts a Mom To Mom group.

It is a place where young moms can come for a couple of hours, drop off their kids with amazing childcare workers, and be ministered to by older moms who serve as mentors. There is some teaching (via video), crafts, helpful hints, enormous support and encouragement, and of course, lots and lots of food.

Mom To Mom was created by Linda Anderson, a mom of three,  many years ago. I joined a Mom To Mom group at our local church when I was a young mom and it was a lifesaver for me.

I am still in touch with one of my mentors, Judy. She is the one who encouraged me to take the time to write because God gave me a gift and to not use that gift was to deny one of the reasons that I am on this earth.

I sent her the first Bible study I wrote many years later and she said she cried tears of joy. 🙂 She continues to inspire me to this day with our own amazing creativity.

She was encouraged to paint many years ago after putting her brushes and paints away. She picked up her brushes and became an award-winning painter. To this day, I wake up every morning and see two of her beautiful, framed watercolors on my wall which serve as visual reminders to create beauty while I am in this world.

This year, Linda Anderson herself came to visit our little church and her visit was wonderful. I am now a mentor to the young moms at our Mom To Mom and it was a thrill for me to meet the woman who has helped so many over the years.

God gave us a beautiful day.

We all found Linda to be warm, funny, wise, and extremely encouraging.

**********

May was also the month of our son’s last concert with the high school band.

He won the Louis B. Armstrong Jazz Award and he was thrilled

At our school, there is a long-standing tradition of giving the seniors blue blankets that they can take to college with them to remember their years in the band. After our band director personally handed out the blankets one by one, there was a massive group hug.

I may or may not have shed a tear or two.

I am in big trouble when graduation rolls around next month. (wistful smile).

Life is beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Within seconds of  beginning our conversation, she broke into sobs.

This sweet lady was a brokenhearted mother. Her child had made a grave error in judgment and the consequences were tough.

This child had been raised in a Christian home, spent many hours in church, VBS, and youth group. And yet…

All of this resulted in a cauldron of powerful emotions: anger, hurt, betrayal, pain, shock, grief, sadness, guilt.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about raising kids since my son is going to graduate from high school next month and head to college in August.

Here is what I would tell women who are in those early years of childhood:

1) Deal with your stuff. 

We all have regrets as parents. Nobody is perfect. We are all fallen people living in a fallen world and we will make mistakes. That being said, I so wish that I would have allowed Jesus to heal me of certain things as I embarked on the long journey of parenting. Then I would have parented from a place of wholeness on certain issues rather than out of my brokenness.

So be brave enough to take a good, hard, honest look at yourself. Pray that He would reveal any areas where you need healing…and then do whatever it takes to pursue healing and wholeness in that area. Allow the Healer to minister to the deepest places of your heart through the power of His Word.

Your children will thank you for it.

And you will know what it is like to live free. (not perfect, but free).

2) Stop being obsessed with externals. Have an eternal perspective.

Bottom line: who cares if your house is messy? Little kids live there! Little kids make messes. It is not the end of the world. Trust me…there will be plenty of time to have a clean house when they are grown and out on their own.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how many sports your child plays, what school they attend, how many toys they have, how prestigious your address is, or how many awards they win.

What does matter? “And this is eternal life: to know, perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand You, the one true God and to know Jesus, the Messiah.” (John 17:3).

There you have it. Short and to the point.

This life is a vapor, a mist, that goes by in the blink of an eye. One hundred years from now, no one in your family line will even know your name or any of your accomplishments.

The ONLY thing that will matter is whether you spent your one short life getting to know the One who created you and loves you with a perfect, all-consuming love.

Life is really very simple. (Not easy, but simple).

There is a Creator. He created this world and He created you. He is holy. You are a sinner.  He has made a way for you to know Him by showing up on this planet as a Man named Jesus, who lived the perfect life you could not live and died the death you deserved so that you could go free.

You miss that and you have missed everything.

3). You can’t change anybody.

The ONLY person you have any control over is you. 

You can guide. You can teach. You can lead. You can discipline. You can pour your energy into being the best parent you know how to be.

But you cannot control what your child does with any of that. That will always be his or her choice.

You cannot take credit for the good that your child does and you cannot take the blame for the bad things that they do. They are their own person.

What you can do is pray your heart out on behalf of those precious ones to the One who created them and loves them even more than you do.  Find scripture verses that speak to the things you most want for your child(ren) and pray God’s Word back to Him. (Example: Ephesians 1:17-20 would be an AMAZING prayer to pray over your children).

HE is the One who does the changing of hearts. Nobody else. So quit trying and just love them right where they are.

4). Celebrate! (Don’t Compare)

You know a question I have never asked anyone upon meeting them?

“How old were you when you learned to read?” Or “When were you potty trained?”

How early (or late) your child does such things do not matter in the long run!

You are God’s Plan A for your child. God did not give your child to your best friend or to your neighbor or to the Sunday School teacher at church. He gave your child to you.

Your son or daughter is unique, created in the image of the God who made them, equipped with talents and gifts that can make a difference in this world.

Celebrate that rather than wasting precious time worrying about how they measure up against other kids.

5. You cannot prevent your children from getting hurt.

If we could, we would protect our children from experiencing any pain at all.

This is impossible.

I remember Beth Moore once saying something to the effect of, “I’ve learned my lessons by taking the field trip. Don’t do that. Please just take my word for it and learn these lessons in the classroom.”

We want the same thing for our kids, but the fact is…they are going to choose to go on the field trip.

The truth is, it is during the hard times that we learn what truly matters in this life.  Trials show us what we are made of and introduce us to our true selves so our misguided and flimsy illusions have a chance to shatter. This is a good thing because it reveals the lie that we can handle this life on our own and turns us toward our Savior. Only in Him can true strength, hope, and joy be found. The sooner our kids learn this, the better it will be for them.

6. Know that your God is sovereign.

Regardless of what happens, NOTHING take Him by surprise. He is in full control at all times and He is a safe and secure stronghold in the most ferocious of storms.

We live in a fallen world. Bad things will happen to us and to our children. Rather than being surprised, we should expect this.  (John 16:33; James 1).

But we are never alone. He is always with us. He has equipped us with His Spirit to handle anything that comes our way.

He created your children. He loves them with an everlasting love. He will never stop pursuing them.

He knows what He is doing at all times.

So when bad times enter your child’s life, cling to His promises with all your strength. Pray your heart out. Cry when you need to. Seek wise counsel. Love them with all you’ve got. Point out that with Jesus, there is ALWAYS hope. Remind them that they are deeply and eternally loved: not because of what they have or haven’t done, but simply because a great God has chosen to set His affections on them and love them.

Choose to trust Him with what you cannot understand. As Ann Voskamp says, “He is always good and you are always loved.”

Then watch Him work. Only He can bring beauty from the ashes and give joy after mourning.

7.  Motherhood is messy.

Forget all those perfect Hallmark commercials.

Do not be intimidated by the glossy, beautiful Facebook posts of impeccably dressed children smiling adoringly at their flawlessly coiffed mother.

Do not wonder what is wrong with you if you are not filled with happiness every waking moment of your parenting career.

The truth is there will be hard days. Feelings will be hurt. Birthdays or Mother’s Day may be forgotten. You will be exhausted at times. There may even be moments when you do not even like your children.

This is all normal.

It has been said that parenting is a marathon, not  a sprint.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

So, take a deep breath. Open your arms and your heart wide. Look for joy, even (especially) in the unexpected places. Slow down. Pray hard. Love deeply. Do what you can. Know that you cannot do it all.

Above everything else, rest in Jesus.

The world  is on His shoulders, not yours.

He is responsible for how all of this turns out, not you.

He is God, you are frail flesh.

He is strong, you are weak.

He is perfect; you are flawed.

But you are deeply and wildly loved by Him.

He has called and appointed you to be a mother. It may be the hardest role you are given in this life. Like nothing else, it will cause you to come to the end of yourself at times. Yet it is in those very moments that you come to the beginning of Him. It is then that His hope and joy and peace reign.

You can trust Him to use all of the bad days, missed opportunities, regrets, and mistakes to create a masterpiece. How do I know? Because  making masterpieces are His specialty (Ephesians 2:10) and He has promised to make all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

The only moment you can live is right now.

So fully live it.

“My home is filled with toys, has fingerprints on everything, and is never quiet. My hair is usually a mess and I’m always tired, but there is always LOVE and LAUGHTER. In twenty years, my children won’t remember the house or my hair but they will REMEMBER the time we spent together and the LOVE they felt.”—Unknown