The cracks were beginning to show.
As the week wore on, I exhibited impatience, irritation, and was often dangerously close to tears.
His still small voice was calling to me…to pay attention…that something in my soul wasn’t right and He needed to tend to it.
I was weary.
Thankful, grateful, trusting…yet still weary.
It has been a long road, these past two years, as my family and I have wrestled with a prolonged trial that tests our faith every day…that stretches us to our limits…then teaches us how to go beyond…only to discover:
*more of Him
*the fact that true Joy is possible even in the midst of pain and tears
*that He is always willing to fill us with His unlimited strength…and in our weakness, we are miraculously made strong
*life does not consist in the abundance of our possessions
*wonders truly do unfold everywhere to those with eyes to see.
Yet there are days when the grind feels relentless and that is what Saturday felt like for me.
I heard Him whisper, “Come to Me…” (Matthew 11:28).
So I slipped away, closed the door, and poured my heart out to Him…all the mixed feelings, weariness, sadness, fear…it all came out like a flood as He listened…
and felt what I felt (Hebrews 4:15)
…collected all my tears in His bottle (Psalm 56:8 )
…whispered His forgiveness that mercifully covers all the ugly (Psalm 103:12)
My mind then flashed back to Pastor Steve’s message at church last week. He spoke on Proverbs 13:12: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true at last, there is life and joy.” (Living Bible). He explained that the word for “deferred” in the original language refers to the Enemy’s ploy to try to take us captive, to entice us away from Christ in an attempt to cruelly steal our hope and leave us weak, weary, and worn out…feeling that we have no place to turn other than the paltry and empty coping mechanisms of the world system.
Anger rose up within me. The Enemy cannot have my Hope!
He is a loser and a liar and I will not give him the satisfaction of falling for his pathetic ploys.
My God IS my Hope. He never changes. He is FOR me. He is ALWAYS victorious. He is in FULL control. He WILL rescue me.
He is guiding and leading me along this hard path, continually showing me His faithfulness and kindness, offering me His strength and His joy in the midst.
I just need to remember.
As if on cue, my eyes fell on a Sheila Walsh book that I have had for a year and just recently picked up again. It is called Beautiful Things Happen When A Woman Trusts God. I felt led to open to where I had left off reading and these are the words I saw:
“You are not forgotten. God sees you. In His perfect time, you will see Him do what only He can do.”
Peace and joy flooded my heart as tears spilled from my eyes.
One of the many things I love about Jesus is the fact that He so often reaches into my days in such tender unexpected ways, breathing fresh hope into my heart just when I need it the most.
Come To Me
When you are hurting, come to Me
and I will bind your wounds.
When you need to be assured, come to Me
and I will give you My embrace.
When you can no longer go on, come to Me
and I will carry you.
When you need comfort, come to Me
and I will wipe your tears.
When you are uncertain of My love, come to Me
And I will speak My heart to you. —Unknown
May the God of your hope so fill you with peace and joy in believing…that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.–Romans 15:13