Monthly Archives: August 2011

After The Storm


As night fell in our town Sunday night, it seemed as if hurricane Irene had finally moved on.

However, we were warned that it was not over yet because the back end of the storm would bring high winds.

The winds started after midnight.

I couldn’t sleep. The local news was on, broadcasting scary images of vehicles trapped in rising water, roads being washed away, homes submerged, red and blue police lights flashing as roads were blocked off to protect motorists from danger.

I moved closer to my sleeping husband, grateful that he had stayed home that night, rather than heading to Vermont earlier in the day.

The house made creaking noises as the wind grew in strength. Since our development is rather new, there are no mature trees to cushion us from the wind so it blows hard against the house. Sometimes it  sounds like a freight train is going straight through the center of it.

I lay in bed and stared out the sliders beyond our deck. For some reason, there was an eerie glow above the mountains. A local TV host reported that five people and a dog had been swept away into the dark night by rising waters in an area thirty minutes north of our town and a rescue was underway. (Fortunately, there was a happy ending to that story. Thank God for our men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis to save others).

Why does everything seem so much scarier at night?

I closed my eyes and began to recite Scripture passages from Ps. 18 , Ps. 91 and Psalm 121. His Word is such a comfort anytime, but never more so than when storms are raging.

Peace settled over me like a blanket and I was able to fall asleep.

I awoke to blue skies and a shining sun. There was no evidence that Irene had been here at all.

Even the scariest of storms comes to an end.

Thankfully, so do the storms in our lives.

I remember hearing the late Barbara Johnson say that one of her favorite sayings in the Bible was “…and it came to pass.” 🙂

I just came through a season that I thought would never end. Day after day, nothing seemed to change. The storm raged on.

Some days I was strong; some days I was weak and the tears flowed. There were days of discouragement and days of victory. Sometimes I wondered if the storm was here to stay for good. It was hard to remember the  carefree days of sunny skies.

During this time, I read a book by Michael Card entitled A Sacred Sorrow: Meeting God in the Lost Language of Lament.

He explained that in the Bible, the world lament means simply refusing to let go of God, no matter what.

That is how I got through the storm. I just never let go.

I clung to my lifeline, the Bible. I lived on those words that spoke life and joy and peace and comfort to my tired soul.

I never stopped talking with Jesus, even during the darkest days of tears, anger, confusion, and sadness.

I just kept getting up every time I fell down.

I refused to let go of my Savior who has promised that He will never let go of me.

And then one sweet day, the storm was over. The  dark clouds evaporated to reveal blazing sunshine.

A new day had arrived.

If you are in the middle of a storm right now, continue clinging to Jesus through His Word. Refuse to let go no matter what.

The storm will end in His perfect timing and He will see you safely through.

Christ said, ‘Let us go over to the other side’—not ‘to the middle of the lake to be drowned.'”—Daniel Crawford

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Irene


photo credit: The_Roc

Hurricane Irene made an unwelcome visit to much of the East coast this weekend.

We lived in south Florida for five years and endured four hurricanes. They certainly can be terrifying and destructive, as hurricane Katrina heartbreakingly demonstrated.

The night that our Florida town received a direct hit from hurricane Wilma was one of the scariest nights of my life. We were without power for nine days. There was destruction everywhere. Cleaning up all the debris in the yard took one full week. Traffic lights were down, grocery stores were empty, and curfews were imposed. It was something I will never forget.

As the clouds darkened and the storm approached  our New England town on Sunday afternoon, I read Ps. 62 and was reminded where my true security lies:

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from Him.
Truly He is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress and I will never be shaken…

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge..(vv. 1-2; 7-8)

This is a  wonderful Scripture to cling to during all the storms of life.

We are safe in His all-powerful hands.

How did Irene affect you? (Fortunately, we  only lost power for a short time and there was very little damage in our town).

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The Magic of Skype


I smiled to myself as I finished putting on my lipstick.

In a few minutes, I would log onto Skype. My husband’s face would fill the screen of my laptop and our virtual “date” would begin.

After 19 years of marriage, I still feel like I did in the early stages of our relationship: my heart flutters a little and I’m excited to see him. That is a wonderful thing.

When we took our premarital counseling classes with our pastor, he encouraged us to “never stop dating.” We have taken his advice and I would encourage all couples to do the same.

Even when our kids were babies and we didn’t have a babysitter, we would still make time for our monthly date. After the kids were in bed for the night, we would order takeout, light a candle (the candlelight was helpful in hiding the enormous bags under my eyes! 🙂 ),  and put on some music, transforming our kitchen into romantic dinner date spot. (Well, as romantic as a kitchen in a rented house with yellow walls and blue counter tops can be!).

As I mentioned earlier in the week, my husband is working in Vermont during the week. So, Skype has become a good friend to us. I love knowing that at the end of the day, I’m not only going to hear his voice but I will see his face.

The kids and I gather around the laptop at the appointed time and we visit for the next hour, recounting what our day has been like. One of my friends suggested that we Skype during dinner, which is a fabulous idea. We will just put the laptop where Doug usually sits and continue to enjoy our meals together.

As my 88 year old aunt said when I told her about Skype, “Isn’t technology something?”

The only member of our family who is thoroughly confused by all this  is our Bichon Frise, Buddy.

It makes him crazy. He can hear Doug’s voice but he can’t see him. (My son tells me that dogs can’t see computer screens). His ears perk up and he runs to the front door, his tail wagging excitedly. When Doug doesn’t appear, he sprints across the house to sit in front of the garage door, his little body practically shaking with excitement.

Eventually, his tail wags less enthusiastically, then finally stops and droops sadly.

He then usually slinks over to the sofa, uses his paws to make the pillow flat, spins around a few times and finally throws himself down with a giant sigh. Whatever is going on, he doesn’t like it one bit.

Poor Buddy.

Imagine his joy when he actually sees Doug in person tonight. 🙂

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Open Doors and Hearts


photo credit: emdot

I watched her exit the gym after the volleyball practice.

She was surrounded by a group of her teammates. They talked and laughed for  a few minutes and as she waved goodbye and started to walk toward the car, one of the girls stopped her so she could give her a hug. The others followed suit and my girl was lost in a sea of hugs and smiles.

A final wave and then she climbed into the passenger seat of the SUV, tossing her gym bag into the back seat.

During the short drive home, she filled me in on how practice had gone. She had worked hard all summer long, endured three days of tryouts, and made the team the week before. She found the practices exhilarating and her eyes shone with accomplishment and the excitement of a new challenge.

In six days, my daughter will walk through the doors of a high school for the first time.

I know that there will be times of laughter, tears, joys, struggles, losses and triumphs for her in the days ahead.

I find myself repeatedly thanking God for the years He gave me with her when she and her brother were the only students in a very exclusive school called “Brown Academy” :).

I am also thankful for the fact that this summer, the three of us did a Bible study about our identity in Christ.

She has already told me that she has been warned about certain groups to “stay away from.” She was not warned about any person in particular, just the groups by which these kids have been labeled.

This same thing went on when I was in school and it will continue to exist until the end of time.

I have taught my kids to look beyond labels, stereotypes, and cliques and see individuals made in the very image of the God who created them. They will like some of them. They will dislike some of them.

Regardless, they are called to love them—not blindly, but with discernment and resolve— with the very love of Christ and shine His light in that school.

I will be joining them in that endeavor. I have begun to get to know my son’s friends and each  precious name is now on my prayer list. I plan to do  the same with my daughter’s new friends.

I feel like a huge dork around teenagers but my hope and prayer is that as they fill my home in the days and weeks to come, they will find in me someone who truly sees them and seeks to know them…just like my mom did for my friends when I was growing up.

Our hearts…and our doors…are open.

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Saying No To Freedom


photo credit: caitlin marie

Her grief, confusion, hurt, and anger poured out across the phone lines.

All I could do was listen and sympathize.

I felt helpless in the onslaught of all this pain.

So I did the most powerful thing I could do…I prayed the entire time she was talking.

“Jesus, open her eyes! Let her truly see You!”

She has heard the gospel in all its entirety…twice.

Twice, she has reached out to me in her pain, searching…endlessly searching…seeking peace that never comes.

Because…she will not bend the knee to the Prince of Peace….Jesus…the only One who can give her the peace she so desperately wants to possess.

I’m not ready….” she has whispered in the past, tears streaming down her face.

Ever the Gentleman, Jesus grants her request to pursue life without Him.

So she continues to be imprisoned by her pain…tortured by long nights filled with “what-ifs” and “if-onlys”…forever feeling unfulfilled because those she loves do not have the ability to make her whole…mentally ripping the bandages off wounds that remain unhealed and will not be silent.

The pain screams.

And the Healer waits.

He longs for her to turn to Him. He desires to release her from the enemy’s ruthless and relentless grasp.

He is the only One who can flood her soul with Peace and Joy. His  brilliant and powerful Light would dispel every bit of the deep darkness that now covers her heart.

He can take all her pain and transform it into something beautiful…beauty for ashes is His specialty.

He is the only One who will not be driven away by the depth of her need.

If she opened  His Word…His eternal love letter… He would tell her that she is lovely and precious to Him…that He rejoices over her life with heavenly song…that His plans for her life are grand and glorious (even when it hurts)…that He loved her enough to die for her and He wants to spend eternity showering her with His love.

She doesn’t want any of it.

This is incomprehensible to me and it breaks my heart.

I know this One.

He has set me free. He has healed—and continues to heal— what was/is broken in my damaged heart. Every day is a love affair with Him, no matter how hard or long the road.

He captivates me. He takes my breath away. He pours His love into my heart and opens my eyes to see that His glory and beauty truly does fill the whole earth.

He has made me whole.

I want this for her.

So…I will continue to pray for her as long as there is breath in my body, knowing that I have a Savior who desires that all would come to repentance and find true restoration and redemption.

“I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good, after their own thoughts…” (Isaiah 65:2, Amplified)

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Weekend in Vermont


My family is entering a new season.

For the next six months, my husband will be consulting with a company in Vermont, which means that we will see him mainly on the weekends.

This past Friday, we all traveled to our new home-away-from-home to explore.

Vermont is a lovely, charming state.

I absolutely loved the name of this bakery…

Unfortunately, they had already closed for the day.

There was, however, a woman in the window expertly frosting a cake.  She was so intent on her task that she didn’t even notice us.

I wondered if she was one of the crazy Russian girls?  Wouldn’t you love to know the story behind that name?

I definitely intend to go back the next time I’m in town.

Now, this is just wrong:

Red Sox and Yankees fans simply cannot co-exist in the same space. Every New-Englander knows that.

Vermont Country Store is a huge attraction for people all over the country.

Walking through those doors is like taking a step back into time. They carry products that bring back so many memories and nostalgia wrapped itself around me like a warm blanket.

My brother and I had every one of these toys when we were little kids:

Fragrances from yesteryear abound…

Wind Song…L’Air Du Temps…Jean Nate…Anais Anais…Tabu…Wild Musk by Coty (that was a particular favorite of my friends and I were in middle school. It made us feel oh-so-sophisticated).

There was penny candy galore…

We all cracked a grin at one little boy whose eyes widened as big as saucers at the unbelievable good fortune of finding pixie sticks at such a bargain. He literally yelled, “I’m going to get a hundred of these! One! Two! Three! Four!…”  He kept losing count and began to get frustrated, eventually causing his mother to just grab a handful and steer him toward the cashier. 🙂

Now that is an attention-grabbing book title:

Yes please…

After leaving the store, we discovered a year-round Christmas shop across the street:

I liked this “junk food tree”…it spoke to me 🙂

For the rest of that sunny August day, I could not get Christmas carols out of my head!

Above all, the weekend was about family and enjoying being together…

In the weeks to come, we plan to explore all that Vermont has to offer. If you have spent time in Vermont, we would welcome any suggestions!

I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for us during this new season!

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Rainbows


E ven as the sun shone in the sky, big raindrops started to fall as my daughter and I walked to the car on our way to Bible study.

As we drove toward the parsonage, suddenly a brilliant rainbow spread across the sky! Julia immediately pulled our her cell phone and began to take photos.

We take those kinds of things personally in our family. We know that Jesus is always speaking, always revealing Himself to those who are willing to see.

We praised Him for spreading that rainbow across the evening sky for us. 🙂

It is such a delight and a joy to walk through this life with Him, the Author of all beauty.

The rainbow…a sign of God’s promise.

Tears filled my eyes as I drove, praising God for His incredible mercy, grace, and love.

After nearly four years, I am seeing promises fulfilled…promises that I know He gave me as I sought His face and His mind on the matters that were so important to me.

I wrote them all down on a now nearly tattered little spiral notebook that I carried with me everywhere I went. I read them over and over, sometimes through tears. I chose to believe them, even when my circumstances said that things looked hopeless. I spoke them aloud when I was feeling particularly vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy and they strengthened me.

I allowed no one to steal my hope…because I know my God is faithful and He always keeps His promises…on His timetable and in His perfect way.

Now, I have the joy of seeing every one of those promises that He gave me fulfilled…to the very letter.

And yes, my heart overflows with praise as I have seen Him do exceedingly abundantly above all that I could have asked or hoped. It is a time of great joy and I mean it when I say that I truly will never get over what He has done for us.

I am humbled, I am awed, I am unspeakably grateful.

However…my heart overflowed with all these things during the wait too.

Oh, certainly not at first. I was ready for Him to fulfill these promises to me ASAP!

I am so grateful that He didn’t…because He desired to give me the gift of HIMSELF.

He is our “exceedingly great reward.” (Gen. 15:1). In Him, we find “endless treasures.” (Ephesians 3:8)

He. is. everything.

He IS the fulfillment of every single promise.

As you go throughout your day, ask Him to open your eyes to the signs of His Presence.

Consider today a treasure hunt…and rejoice that you have such a wondrous Savior!

Cling with all your strength to His very great and precious promises.

“There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hidden, always leaving you room to recognize Him or not recognize Him”—Frederick Buechner

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Yes!


For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. —2 Corinthians 1:20

That is an absolutely amazing Scripture!

We have been given hundreds of “great and precious” promises in Jesus’ love letter to us, the Bible ( 2 Peter 1:4).

What is your need today? Find several promises that correspond to your situation and realize that Jesus answers every single one of them with a resounding and eternally joyful “YES!”

“Jesus, I need more of Your joy.”
“YES!” (John 15:11)

“Jesus, I need more of Your peace.”
“YES!” (John 14:27)

“Jesus, will you show me which way I should go?”
“YES!” (John 16:13)

“Jesus, I am filled with fear. Will You fill me with Your courage instead?”
“YES!” (John 14:27)

“Jesus, I feel like I’m not going to make it. My strength is so small. Will You pour Your strength into me?”
“YES!” (Phil. 4:13)

“Jesus, I am going to be honest. This person is driving me nuts! Please pour Your supernatural love into my heart?”
“YES!” (Romans 5:5)

“Jesus, I don’t feel very lovable right now. Please reassure me that Your love for me is powerful and unconditional, even when I mess up.”
“YES!” (Jeremiah 31:3)

“Jesus, my resources look awfully small. Help me to rest in Your promise that You will supply my every need.”
“YES!” (Philippians 4:19)

“Jesus, I am so confused. Things look so dark and scary right now. Yet, You say that Your plans for me are for good, to give me a future and a hope.”
“YES!” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“Jesus, You tell me that I am more than a conqueror and that is true whether I feel like that or not.”
“YES!” (Romans 8:37)

“Jesus, I feel very alone. Thank You for assuring me that You will never leave me or forsake me.”
“YES!”  (Hebrews 13:5)

“Jesus, I thank You that even now, You are preparing a place for me in Heaven.”
“YES!” (John 14:1-2)

Our great God is absolutely faithful. He cannot lie. His Word is eternal and His promises are absolute.

By faith, choose to believe His promises to you today.

Every single one of them will prove true in wondrous ways.

“Faith rests on the pure Word of God alone.”—George Mueller

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Just As You Are


My heart is heavy on this rainy morning.

From the earliest moments of this day, I began getting both emails and phone calls from dear friends and family who were at the end of their ropes, feeling totally overwhelmed and assaulted by life.

It is my honor and privilege to stand in the gap for these dear ones. My heart cries out to the Savior for deliverance for them…the same Savior who boldly and truthfully stated that He had come “to announce release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth as delivered those who are oppressed, downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity. ” (Luke 4:18, Amplified version). 

 I may feel and be helpless to do anything for them, but I go boldly to the One who is all-powerful and tender-hearted toward every soul that calls on Him in the midst of deep pain.

God’s Word tells me plainly that I am not just talking to air. I am entering the very Throne Room of the entire universe where my great and mighty God sits forever on His majestic throne, able, willing and mighty to save.

He hears our prayers and He records every single one of our tears.

The  Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. –Ps. 34:18

I just heard this song by Travis Cottrell and I wanted to share the beautiful lyrics:

“I come broken… to be mended
I come wounded… to be healed
I come desperate… to be rescued
I come empty… to be filled
I come guilty… to be pardoned by the blood of Christ the Lamb
And I’m welcomed with open arms
Praise God…just as I am.”

If you are hurting today, come as you are to the only One who can set you free.

Come to Him in all your pain and let Him take it.

You are not alone.

You are seen.

You are heard.

You are deeply and eternally loved.

You are not in a hopeless situation.

There has been a resurrection!!!! You have a God that can redeem and restore anything! Jesus has come to make all things new. Nothing is impossible with Him!

“I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the One who helps you.'” –Isaiah 41:13

A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench. –Isaiah 42:3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…you are precious in My eyes and honored and I love you. –Isaiah 43:1-4

Come to Him just as you are this day and find healing for your soul.

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No Beaten Path


Less than a week after my husband’s job was cut in 2009, he had an interview with a company that was literally within walking distance of our home. There was an opening in his field and the man who would be his boss was a member of our church.

I was elated. What an incredible testimony this would be! God’s provision would be lightning fast and this unemployment business would be a mere speed bump in our lives.

Except…it didn’t happen that way. The company decided not to fill the position.

I was devastated.

I had been so sure. It had seemed like such a perfect answer to prayer.

I went to bed that evening with a heavy heart. In the morning, I continued talking to Jesus about the situation, pouring out my sadness and confusion.

Suddenly, His Spirit spoke to mine so clearly that it was unmistakable: “Do not presume upon Me.”      

That is exactly what I had been doing.

I was stunned into silence.

It truly felt like I was standing on holy ground, His Presence was so thick. In that moment, I felt like the disciples did when they began to grasp who Jesus truly was and asked themselves in wonder and amazement, “Who is this?”

The word presume means: “to take for granted, assume, or suppose; to undertake with unwarrantable boldness; to take liberties.”

God forbid that I treat Him in this way.

I realized anew that He is GOD an I am not.

He is the Potter and I am the clay.

He is the infinite and I am the finite.

He is the Savior and I am the one who needs saving…sometimes (often) from myself.

It was an incredibly humbling moment.

I immediately asked Him to forgive me for my presumption and told Him that I would surrender to His plan and His path wherever it led.

I would no longer try to “write the rest of the story” as my friend Dianne says.

A few days later, I read this in my Streams in the Desert devotional:

“In no way is it enough to set out cheerfully with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the journey will  be like and tear them into tiny pieces, for nothing on the itinerary will happen as you expect. Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. He knows no fear and He expects you to fear nothing while He is with you.”—Annie Flint Johnson, p. 158

I didn’t know it at the time but Jesus was about to show me that the ‘Jesus’  I thought I knew so well was about to get a major and crucial adjustment.

Over the next two years, Jesus would (lovingly but firmly) expose the true state of my my heart:

*my security was actually tied to the things of this world rather than God Himself

*my focus was mainly on the passing things of this earth rather than on God’s eternal Kingdom

*without realizing it, I was sacrificing depth and lasting joy for fleeting, shallow happiness

*I had plenty of  tidy head knowledge about Jesus but as a result of this extended journey, I was ready to grant Him complete access to my restless, wandering heart and fully encounter Him as He truly is…in His fullness, majesty, and passion.

I am to have no other agenda than His.

Jesus wants—and because He is Lord, rightfully demands—it ALL. No holding back. No hesitation. No double-mindedness.

Just complete and total surrender to a Savior who “is gentle and merciful and kind. But He is also strong to save. And He loves us so much He refuses to pamper us.” –Mark Galli.

As Bible teacher James MacDonald is fond of saying, “God’s love is not a pampering love but a perfecting love.”

Following Jesus is not for the faint of heart. The longer you walk with Him, the more you will realize that He truly does not ever lead you by a predictable path.

Yet, this I promise you…He will surround you with His tender mercies and loving-kindness every step of the way (Ps. 40:11).

Don’t be afraid.

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