Bling Discrimination

I do not have an iPhone. Or a Droid. Or a Galaxy.

I am probably one of the ten people left in this country who does not have a smart phone of any kind.

I call people, text like a fiend, and am delighted to use the “Notepad” feature (which I only discovered after having the phone for a year and a half). But I remain tragically unhip with my little Samsung Brightside.

A few months ago, I needed a new case for my phone.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have a deep love and attraction to all things sparkly. I went to the mall to get my new case, anticipating a stylish new glittering case for my phone.

It was not to be.

My husband  and I visited the first kiosk and I could not believe the paltry selection: black, black, and oh yeah…black! Next!

I approached the salesman at the next one with great anticipation. I was practically blinded by the sparkles coming from his little booth.

“Can you show me your phone cases for the Samsung Brightside?” I asked cheerfully.

“Wow,” he said.

I didn’t know what to make of that, but my best guess is that he was thinking, “What loser still has a Samsung Brightside?”

He rooted around and finally pointed to a pitiful selection of choices. All were boring. No sparkles to be seen anywhere.

I pointed to the lovely iPhone covers, prominently displayed in all their sparkly glory on the top shelf under a bright light.

“Do you have any cases for my phone that sparkle?” I asked, trying to hold my chin up.

He literally burst out laughing.

“Uh…no,” he said, his voice taking on a kindly tone when he saw my disappointment. “You will not find any sparkly cases for your phone.”

I resigned myself to my fate, swallowed my disappointment, and selected a purple case.

It was….kind of pretty.

Fast forward a few months to this week when I dropped my phone and the front half of the phone cover broke.

Based on my last experience, I walked into the mall feeling very self-conscious about my quest.

The first store I tried was AT & T.

“Can you please show me the cases for a Samsung Brightside?”

Total silence.

Confused look.

Then this, “Um…can you please show me your phone? I can’t even remember what those even look like.”


I handed over my phone and he looked at it like it was a charming relic from another era.

He handed it back to me with a weak smile and said quietly, “I think we might have something.”

After searching fruitlessly for a minute, he finally came across the one cover that would fit. And it was black.

With all the dignity I could muster, I thanked him and told him I would look elsewhere.

I approached a kiosk, asked for a case for my sad little phone and waited for the obligatory look of pity. I had long  given up on a sparkly case. At this point, I would settle for fairly colorful.

Instead, the salesman smiled and said, “Certainly!”

Of course, there were none displayed. They were in a drawer…deep down at the very bottom of the door. But they were there and there were a ton of them!

I looked over my choices. There were a ton but they were all fairly hideous.

Why must those who do not have a smart phone have to be punished by not having sparkly cases available to them? Our phones are already lame. Can we not at least dress up the lame a little? It is most unfair.

I cut my losses, chose a hot pink case, and called it day.

When I do get an iPhone, I intend to get a case so sparkly that you can see it from space! 🙂



Filed under Humor

4 responses to “Bling Discrimination

  1. Elaine

    As one who is a lover of bling, I feel your pain! Just think of the fun you will have when you get to choose a “bright” case for a new phone!

  2. Johanna

    You deserve sparkles!!! Hey, have you thought of buying some of those adhesive rhinestones and bringing out your sad little case? An art project for you! 🙂

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