I overheard you say, “Boys don’t like me.”
I am writing this open letter in the hopes that you will one day see it.
Granted, I am nearly half a century old, far removed from the angst of the teenage years. You may wonder what I could possibly have to say that would be helpful to you.
I have the wisdom that comes with age and the clear eyesight that experience gives. I see life in a way that you cannot see at this point.
So here goes…
The truth is, most high school boys have no idea what to do with you.
***You are a young woman of substance.
You are passionately engaged with the world around you. You are well aware of the serious issues at work in our world today. More than that, you intend to do something about it. You know deep down that you have the passion, the intelligence, the drive, to make a difference in this world.
And you will.
You have big dreams that reach far beyond this sleepy old town. This little town in this little state will never contain you.
***You respect yourself and and insist that others do the same.
You will not allow a young man to use your body to satisfy his own self-centered lust. That is good and right.
You must insist that any boy who is interested in you get to know your heart and your mind because you are more than the sum total of your body parts.
If he does not show a willingness to do this, he is not worthy of your time…and he certainly does not deserve access to your heart.
Frankly, most teenage boys do not have the maturity to appreciate this. (Of course there are always exceptions). They are driven primarily by hormones at this age and the cold hard truth is that most teenage boys will be drawn to girls who make themselves easily available for sex. They are not interested in their minds, their feelings, their hopes and dreams. They are after one thing: their bodies.
This is NOT the type of boy you want.
You may think you do. You see these boys with those girls and you wish that you could be part of a couple because it all looks so glamorous and fun. But things are not always what they seem.
I have heard you mention girls in these seemingly happy relationships who have been blindsided by the boy’s callous disregard for them when they break things off via text or an abrupt phone call. You have seen the bewilderment, the hurt, the devastation. These girls had given their bodies to these boys and were now tossed aside like yesterday’s news. It is a tragedy. They may have been in “relationships” but they were never truly seen, never truly respected, never truly known. What a lonely and sad place to be in.
You want more than that. In fact, you demand it. You are not someone to be used; you are a person who is fearfully and wonderfully made by your Creator and you deserve to be cherished and adored.
So hold fast to your standards. Expect to be treated with dignity and honor.
Show compassion for those girls who have bought the lie that in order to be liked, to be validated, to be wanted they must grant access to their bodies to those who do not have their best interests at heart. They don’t know that they are too precious to give themselves away so cheaply. Tell them that there is another way.
***You do not suffer fools.
You can spot a phony a mile away. You realize that talk is cheap and your head is not turned by pretty words. You are not afraid to call a spade a spade.
Anyone looking for an easy target can move right along.
You have been given a voice and you intend to use it to boldly state what you believe in and why. You are not easily intimidated.
You have been given a sharp mind and you have no interest in hiding that fact.
Trust should never be given before it is earned. Do not take anything at face value. Never stop asking questions.
***You have the strength to face life head on.
You do not need to blunt the hard edges of life with alcohol or drugs. You do not need to fuel your body with foreign substances to have a good time. You have a sunny spirit and a strong faith that will serve you well when the hard times hit.
Life is hard. Only the brave can look adversity right in the face and keep moving forward.
You are brave.
I will leave you with this: it’s a huge world out there.
Life is so much bigger than high school.
There is going to come a day when you meet a young man who sees the special girl that you are and you will totally enchant him. The silly boys of high school will be a distant memory.
You will not intimidate him; you will inspire him.
Your strength of character will be something to admire.
Your joy and your light will blaze brightly in this dark world and you will be a blessing to all who know you.
With the unique gifts that you have been given, you will make your mark on this world.
You, dear one, are a remarkable young lady.