Category Archives: Friends and Family

April 4, 2011 · 5:28 am

The Jeff Bird


In 2005, I developed a severely herniated disc in my back that  eventually required surgery. Until the problem was properly diagnosed, I was in a lot of pain that necessitated much bed rest.

My family really should have given me a bell to ring when I needed something but since they didn’t, I had no choice but to shout loudly for someone, as our bedroom was at the far end of the house.

I seemed to call for my brother Jeff (who was living with us at the time) more than anyone else, as the kids were still quite young and Doug worked long hours.

So on any given day, the name “JEFF!” rang through the house several times.

(To his credit, he was unfailingly patient and good-natured…although there was that one time I woke up and he was standing over me with a pillow, saying “It’s for the best.”) 🙂

As you might imagine, the windows in Florida are not insulated, so sound carries easily. We were also blessed with a lot of cool days that year, so we were actually able to turn the air conditioning off and open the windows from time to time.

In the fall of that year, I had recovered from my surgery and not a moment too soon. Hurricane Wilma roared through south Florida as a Category 3, leaving a wide swath of destruction. Our neighborhood had no power for nine days.

Three days after the storm, a neighbor who owned a restaurant invited everyone to a cookout on the cul-de-sac around the corner from our house. The power was still out at the restaurant as well, so he decided to cook everything rather than having it spoil.

It was a delicious feast. Wilma had left cool breezes in her wake and we enjoyed spending time with our neighbors.

In the midst of talking and laughing, we suddenly heard it:

“JEFF!”

A moment passed, then there it was again:

“JEFF!”

We looked at each other in amazement, and followed the sound…to the garage of our neighbor who was providing the feast.

There, on a stand inside his open garage, was a parrot.

And he was yelling “JEFF!” over and over again, clear as a bell! And it sounded exactly like me!!!

We could not believe it…this bird had heard me yelling for Jeff all those times and was now repeating it!

Houses are very close together in south Florida and our neighbor’s home was diagonally behind ours, so the sound between houses carried easily. Our neighbor had also mentioned that his parrot liked to sit outside by the enclosed pool.

We have no doubt that our neighbor wondered why in the world his parrot was suddenly shouting the name Jeff…and we did not really want to enlighten him.

Parrots can live to up to 80 years old.

We left south Florida in 2007.

And that parrot still may be yelling for Jeff!

So, the moral of this story is be careful what you say. Your words may live on long after you’re gone. 🙂

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April 2, 2011 · 6:13 am

Weekend Moment:Disney Memories


Since my part of the country got over six inches of snow today, I decided to take a  trip down memory lane to a warmer and sunnier time: specifically to June 2004, when we took the kids to Disney for the first time. Josh was eight, Julia was seven and my mom and brother joined in the fun.

We provided the kids with autograph books, just as my parents had done for me back in the 70s, and they were immediately on the hunt. Goofy was spotted first:

Followed by Chip and Dale:

They were both excited to see Pluto:

Julia then ran into Captain Hook and Smee, the pirate. Captain Hook would have been terrifying to me as a seven year old, but Julia was unfazed. She marched right up to him, with autograph  book outstretched…and he stole it and wouldn’t give it back! She danced all around, trying to jump and grab it, but he held it just out of reach, laughing all the while. I would have cried for my mommy, but she needed no such help. She just giggled and kept saying, “Give it back, Captain Hook!” He finally relented, signed her book, and handed it back to her. As soon as it was back in her hands, she hightailed it out of there:

Smee followed her, clearly trying to make amends for Hook’s boorish behavior:

After giving her his autograph, he gave her a friendly nose squeeze before she went on her way:

After all that, some time with Grandma was in order:

Meanwhile, Josh decided to take a drive with Uncle Jeff:

While Julia met Brer Bear:

Then it was her turn to take a drive with Daddy:

She even had time to flash a quick smile for the camera:

After a fun-filled day at the park, we headed back to our hotel, which was based on all the old Disney movies:

And Julia needed some serious down time:

We were there for three days and it was absolutely wonderful. Disney truly is the happiest place on earth. 🙂

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March 29, 2011 · 5:56 am

46 Years


I turned 46 years old yesterday.

It was the sweetest of days…a celebration of the beautiful God who gave me this life,  family, friends, laughter, quiet moments, and simple joys:

*receiving lavender roses (my very favorite!) from my beloved husband

*beginning the day in prayer for our precious children at the weekly Moms In Touch meeting

*lingering over a cup of coffee with a dear friend, sharing hearts and faith and laughter

*hearing my aunt and two uncles sing “Happy Birthday” to me over the phone from Pennsylvania, as they have done every year of my life

*smiling at the sight of one of my all-time favorite birthday presents from Ida Mae: my laughing moose:

With a simple turn of a switch, he  emits huge belly laughs  while rolling all around. It is perfectly fitting since laughter defines our relationship.

*catching a glimpse of my sweet girl from the window as she stood outside on the deck, drenched in the spring sunshine, strawberry-blonde hair blowing freely in the wind, smiling for the camera as she took a self-portrait

*picking my son up from track practice; face flushed from a good workout, chatting excitedly about all he is learning from his coaches and looking forward to the upcoming season

“How long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy…before these beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet?”–Ann Voskamp

*a fresh new journal from my dear friend-who-is-like-a-sister, Destiny…a place to record treasured moments from my life…as well as the myriad of ways that Jesus makes Himself known and visible to me every single day

*having a sweet conversation with the wonderful woman who gave birth to me all those years ago and found herself suddenly cast as the parent to one of the strongest-willed children ever to walk this earth…and has the gray hairs and battle scars to prove it! 🙂

*enjoyed a delicious dinner with Doug (who happily served as cook!), the kids, and my brother Jeff

*and speaking of Jeff, he wins the Best Brother of the Year award because he gave me one of these as a birthday gift:

For a bookaholic like me, this is a perfect gift! I initially resisted because I love the feel of a solid book in my hands but I am told that I will love this new technology. I can’t wait to download my first book! Any suggestions?

I am a blessed woman who is rich in all the ways that truly matter.

Life is good. 🙂

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”–Kafka

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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March 28, 2011 · 5:26 am

Smile on Aisle Five


In light of this post and of course, this one, I no longer see any day as “ordinary.”

I have discovered that when I live a life of gratitude for even the smallest things, the world around me comes alive with a joy that shimmers…and dances…and celebrates…and beckons me to take one step further…because there is always more.

Joy can be found even at a Marshalls store on a Saturday afternoon.

My daughter was on a hunt for the perfect pair of jeans.

Two trips to two stores on Friday afternoon with me had yielded no results, so hopes were high on the ride to  the local Marshalls.

The ride itself is a beautiful one, courtesy of the majestic mountain views. I took it all in as the four of us joked, laughed, and discussed current events while eighties music played in the background.

Doug, Josh, and I finished our shopping well before Julia did, so we all met up in the ladies department. She had found the jeans fairly early so now the search was on for some cute tops.

I did not offer to help because when I had tried to do so the previous day, holding up what I thought was darling for her approval, I was met with such comments as:

“That is hideous!”

“NO!”

“You’re kidding, right?”

(All of these comments were made with copious eye rolling, followed by a plea to be allowed to shop in peace).

So, it was with great interest that I watched Doug walk over to Julia, stand beside her, and begin to go through the racks.

I called out, “What are you doing?”

Smiling, he looked over at me and said simply, “I’m helping.”

Julia’s face registered initial surprise, followed by a big smile as she allowed her dad to offer assistance.

I was so touched by that moment.

It was so small…but so significant.

I whispered a prayer of thanks to God for the gift that my husband is to our children. But especially for the gift that he was giving to our daughter in that moment.

I love that he cares…not just about the big things, but the little ones too.

I love that he– a soon-to-be 48 year old man who knows nothing of teenage fashion–was willing to try simply because if it was important to our daughter, it was important to him.

A tiny smile continued to play on Julia’s face as she and her dad searched side by side.

It was an endearing sight.

Eventually the perfect top was added to the perfect jeans, birthday money was spent…and a sweet memory was made.

Never underestimate the power of a small gesture…sometimes that speaks louder than a grand one.

(By the way, I did feel slightly better that nothing Doug chose made the cut either.) 🙂

“Do not disdain the small. The whole of life…is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole.”–Ann Voskamp

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March 21, 2011 · 5:31 am

Julia’s Zoo Review


My daughter Julia has always loved any and all animals.

She dreamed of being a veterinarian for a long time and was thrilled when our local vet in Florida sponsored the “Veterinarian For A Day” program. Here she is prior to  entering the “operating room”:

Her daddy was able to observe her technique with the scalpel. The kids were actually extracting Hershey Kisses from a pocket of a stuffed animal:

Surgery was followed by a trip to the vet ER, where she learned to bandage up the injured:

Eventually, Julia decided that she couldn’t bear to operate on an animal, so she began to explore other career options. However, her love of all animals has continued unabated.

Even those without fur:

This snake belonged to my friend Madora’s son:

Everyone at the table pretty much cleared out when Trenton brought his snake into the dining room.

Except Julia. That snake slithered all over her arms and she did not flinch once.

A few weeks later, a bunch of us ladies met at Madora’s  home for Bible study. Afterward, Madora casually mentioned that this same snake had escaped earlier that day and was still MIA.

You have never seen six ladies move so fast to vacate a home in your entire life.

Clearly, none of us shared Julia’s love for snakes.

Lizards don’t faze her either:

She even gravitates to animal statues:

A trip to Butterfly Word in Florida introduced her to the beauty of tropical birds:

When we visited my cousin Missy and her husband Mark in DC, their dog Ma-Ling did NOT like children and would growl every time the kids came near her. Josh kept a distance but Julia refused to take no for an answer. She had yet to meet an animal that didn’t love her. When Ma-Ling would growl, Julia would say, “Oh, don’t be like that!” and held out her hand for Ma-Ling to sniff time and time again. Eventually, Ma-Ling gave in and agreed to be friends. Notice Julia’s smile of triumph:

The following year, Julia’s dream came true when we added a Bichon Frise puppy named Buddy to our family:

Once we left Florida and moved to the Northeast, Julia began to take riding lessons:

But dogs will always be her first love:

I love the look on her face here as she poses next to my friend Rob’s chocolate lab Colby:

This is Julia with her Auntie Leslie’s dog Calvin. You probably notice the fact that Calvin does not look thrilled. That is because Julia spent a lot of time trying to get him to lie down with his little head on a pillow covered with a blanket:

Here she is with my friend Kathy’s boxer Tara: (note that Julia had just had a blue Slushie prior to this photo being taken!)

And with The Elaine’s Shih-Tzu puppy Andy:

After owning assorted fish and a hamster( all of whom met untimely ends), Julia decided she needed a chinchilla that she purchased with her own money. Prior to receiving our permission, she and her brother put together a presentation on the merits of chinchilla ownership:

The presentation was a success.  Meet Gladys:

If it were possible for Julia to add several more animals to her menagerie, she certainly would. However, Bichons have a life expectancy of 19 years and chinchillas can live to be 20. Doug and I foolishly used to think that once the kids left for college that it would be just the two of us. Now, we are looking at spending our latter years with Buddy and Gladys. Not exactly how we envisioned our future! 🙂

Someone once said, “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”

Julia would agree with that.

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March 18, 2011 · 8:37 am

High School Musical


Last night, my family and I headed to the local high school for the annual Lip Sync contest.

Each grade picks a theme, chooses songs and props, then performs several numbers. Tickets are availiable to the community and it sells out every year.

Each grade entered the auditorium shouting rhyming cheers to wild, enthusiastic applause before taking their seats to wait their turn to perform.

Our son Josh is a freshman and the freshmen theme this year was “The Sky’s The Limit.”

The curtain parted and the energy exploding from that stage filled with ninth graders was massive.

Some observations from the evening:

*I am old.

Despite the promise I made to myself as a teenager that I would be the cool mom who kept up on all the current music my teens were listening to, I continually had to lean over and ask my daughter, “What song is this?”

You can imagine her delight at spending the entire evening addressing her mother’s woeful knowledge of popular culture.

I also could not understand the words to most of the music.

However…when songs from the 80s were used, I was all over that. I clapped and sang along with abandon, reliving my youth.

My daughter seemed to disappear into her seat. I have no idea why.

*My son played the part of Paul McCartney during the Beatles portion of the show because he plays the bass:

The spitting image of a young Paul, no? 🙂

*An incredibly touching moment occurred during the freshman’s performance. At one point, a young lady with Down’s Syndrome appeared alone on the stage, bathed in the spotlight as she danced. There was an absolute roar of applause and cheers from the audience. The huge smile that broke across her face was beautiful to see.

*I was so impressed with the goodwill and team spirit among the students. They genuinely cheered each other on. It was a wonderful way to build  school spirit.

*The winners of the contest will be announced today during school. As much as I was pulling for the freshman, I think the juniors have it in the bag. 🙂

*With all the heartache and uncertainty going on in the world right now, it was a delight to spend a couple of hours in a high school auditorium surrounded by upbeat music, laughter, and the energy and optimism of  youth.

Now if I could only get Don’t Stop Believin’ to quit playing on a continual loop in my head!  🙂

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March 8, 2011 · 6:29 am

Rhode Island Memories


I love Rhode Island.

I can feel my blood pressure drop by several points when I cross the state line.

Sunset over Newport, RI

My husband and I lived there for 5 years and it was one of the sweetest times of our lives. Our children were born in Providence and we bought our first home in the southern part of the state not far from the ocean. (We were able to see past the pink dining room with hand-painted purple wisteria  on the walls, as well as more  (badly)  hand-painted pink and peach flamingos and palm trees that bordered the entire circumference of the kitchen.  Unlike my mother, who went home and cried the first time she saw it).

It is a land of lighthouses, beautiful beaches, charming little seaside towns, fabulous restaurants, close-knit families, fine universities…and some very interesting customs and vocabulary. (Simple disclaimer: what I am about to relate is written with true affection).

Providence

For example, the first time my husband and I went to a restaurant after we moved, I ordered a milkshake without even looking at the menu. I was pregnant and having major ice cream cravings. Pretty simple request, right?

Not in Rhode Island.

The waitress smiled at me and said, “You’re not from here are you?”

When I said no, she nodded knowingly, then proceeded to educate me. “See, if you order a milkshake, I will just put milk into a glass and shake it around a little. But I’m guessing that by saying ‘milkshake’ you are talking about a blend of  milk and ice cream?”

I nodded, casting a sideways glance at my husband. Had we entered an alternate universe?

“In these parts, that is called a cabinet, so that’s what you need to say when you order.”

A cabinet???

But that’s furniture! It’s certainly not a milkshake!

She helpfully pointed to the dessert portion of the menu and sure enough, there it was. I had my choice of a chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry cabinet. Over the years,  I never did get used to seeing that word on a menu.

My RI education on the fine art of milkshakes continued when we visited our local Newport Creamery. If you wish to order a milkshake, you ask for an “Awful Awful.” (that stands for “awful big and awful good!”).

Native Rhode Islanders call pasta sauce “gravy” and call gravy “sauce.”

A “Swamp Yankee” (sometimes shortened to “Swamper”…and pronounced “swampa” by the locals)  is one who was born and raised in RI and has never left the state…and never intends to. Swampers are proud of their heritage, fiercely independent and self-sufficient.

A “bubbler” (pronounced “bubbla”)  is the RI name for a water fountain.

Coffee milk is the official drink of the state. It is not, as I first imagined, milk added  to a cup of coffee. It is coffee syrup added to a glass of milk.

I also learned that native Rhode Islanders do not like to drive more than fifteen minutes away from their homes. For anything.

Our landlord’s son was an oncologist. He once told us that when new patients called his office, they would ask where it was located. If it was further than the magic fifteen minutes, several patients would find somewhere closer to home…despite the fact that he was one of the best in his field.

My husband’s commute to his job was thirty minutes, sometimes more depending on traffic. His coworkers could simply not comprehend this. When we bought our first home and it was even a little further away from work, they were incredulous and unable to process the fact that someone would choose to spend so much time commuting.

I am not kidding when I say that I met RI natives who had never been to the beautiful town of Newport because it was more than fifteen minutes from their home.

If one must travel 45 minutes or more (for example to a wedding), reservations are made at the nearest hotel and a full meal is packed into a cooler to take along on the trip.

It is, without a doubt, the most unique place we have ever lived…and we truly loved it. We made some of our very best friends there. Living  just minutes from the ocean was a joy. Block Island–about 12 miles off the coast of RI–is one of our all-time favorite places. It is only accessible by small plane or ferry and is known for its stunning beauty, historic lighthouses, lovely beaches, and easy, simple way of life.

Hotel Manassis on Block Island

a beach on Block Island

I was able to go back to Rhode Island last week for a girls weekend. Happy memories filled my mind as I traveled those familiar roads, and I thanked God for allowing us to live in this special place. To me, it represents a simpler time in my life: a season of laughter and lightness, sweet memories,  and carefree days, a time when the kids were little and everything was magical, and both of my parents were still alive.

A part of my heart will always be in the Ocean State.

If you’ve never visited, do yourself a favor and make the trip. And be sure to have a cabinet while you’re there! 🙂

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February 28, 2011 · 7:23 am

Cookbook for Brides


Recently, I came across a gag wedding gift from my friend Terri.

It was a book called Cookbook For Brides by Dorothy Malone and it was published in 1947.

As I leafed through the pages, I was dismayed to discover that apparently, I am a hopeless failure as a wife.

I knew I was in trouble when I read part of the foreward: “At the time of marriage, only two out of any ten brides know how to cook. It’s a sad indictment of our sense of values, for every woman ultimately knows that a well-cooked meal is a most excellent adornment to a happy marriage.”

Uh-oh.

Ms. Malone continues: “It’s fun to  cook!…It’s an even greater thrill to watch the light of admiration that creeps into a husband’s eyes when he realizes that he has snatched a very jewel from the matrimonial mart and that he will be well and delightfully fed all the days of his life!”

Doug may have looked at me with admiration a time or two during our eighteen years of marriage, but it was never for my cooking.

And I’m pretty sure he cannot say that he has been well and delightfully fed all the days of his life by me.

My consternation continued as I moved on to chapter two: “Clever is the bride who is attractively dressed and nicely complexioned when the sun shines on her at breakfast time. An intelligent and beautiful bride I once knew had an excellent plan of procedure. Setting her mind to it, she rose 15 minutes before her husband and slipped noiselessly into her dressing room. There she tinted her complexion and put on a beguiling breakfast coat. When her husband’s eyes rested on her, a few minutes afterward, she looked as though she had just stepped from a freshly washed and rosy cloud.”

Does a blue fleece robe covered with white clouds count as a beguiling breakfast coat?

I was further admonished to “remember always that your table linen should be scrupulously spotless, freshly laundered, and smooth as a sheet of silver.”

I have placemats with lovely lake scenes on them.

When carving meat, “don’t moan if any splatters go out of bounds and land on the tablecloth, in spite of your best efforts. If you must moan, for goodness sake don’t do it publicly. Do it privately, preferrably in the privacy of your own soul.”

When I was growing up, the other moms on our street called me “The Mouth Of Theresa Avenue.”  I rarely say anything  in the privacy of my own soul when I am upset. Everyone around me pretty much knows it…although I am getting much better at this!

I’m certain that Ms. Malone was absolutely sincere when she wrote this book and it must have been helpful for the brides of that day. However, I am most grateful that I was a bride in the  1990’s and not 1947. Can you imagine the pressure of having to live up to these standards? (The things I shared were just the tip of the iceberg!).

I am blessed to have a husband who tells me I look beautiful even when I am wearing sweats and no makeup. One who chooses to see past my faults and concentrate on the good things. One who encourages my dreams and listens to my concerns with great patience. One who laughs heartily and often and is an amazing father.

Is he perfect?  Of course not….no man is. But he is the perfect man for me.  That man has had his hands full with me from day one. He doesn’t try to change me; he just loves me the way I am.

He is God’s greatest blessing to me.

And I am mighty thankful that he doesn’t give a hoot that I can’t cook, don’t own a breakfast coat, and have never once looked like I just stepped from a rosy cloud. 🙂

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February 23, 2011 · 6:42 pm

Treasuring Time


“We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand…and melting like a snowflake.” —Marie B. Ray

This afternoon, my husband and I took our daughter Julia to  the local high school to get her registered for freshman year in the fall.

As I watched Julia interact with the guidance counselor, so poised and confident, the school office suddenly melted away and this is what I saw in my mind’s eye:

and this:

and this:

After the meeting, we went to the car to wait for her brother. As I drove home, listening to their laughter and chatter, more pictures from the past flashed through my mind:

Where has the time gone?!

Seasons change so quickly.

For the past 11 1/2 years, the kids have been homeschooled. That was a journey I never thought I would take and I went into it with much fear and trembling. Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. To this day, it is the toughest thing I have ever done…but the joy was immense. I wouldn’t trade even one moment.

Eleven and a half years went by in the blink of an eye. My son is now in school full time, so once fall arrives, both will be gone and the house will be quiet…the days of workbooks, field trips, lunch out every Wednesday afternoon, long walks, messy science projects, bursts of laughter, and even sibling squabbles…will all be relegated to sweet memories.

I won’t mourn for the fact that my children are confident teenagers, ready to spread their wings; that is as it should be.

But I will mourn the fact that as I was living those precious days and years, I did not truly treasure them for the gifts that they were. I took them for granted. Just because the days sometimes felt like they would last forever, they did not.

I won’t make the same mistake again. For the next few years, I will  cherish this time with my children.

I will not just see; I will perceive.

I will not just hear, I will listen.

I will not just pass the time; I will redeem it.

I will celebrate.

I will fully enter into my moments, even the seemingly “small” ones, realizing that “the whole of life–even the hard–is made up of the minute parts and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole…there is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up.” –Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

Time is the great equalizer. Rich, poor, young, old, sick, healthy…we all have the same amount.

We all choose how to spend our days.

I will choose joy.

I will choose gratitude.

I will choose grace.

I will choose courage.

I will choose kindness.

I will choose mercy.

I will treasure.

“Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment.” —Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

So, this day…and every day…enter fully into your moments. And live.

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