Category Archives: Friends and Family

August 25, 2011 · 1:01 pm

Open Doors and Hearts


photo credit: emdot

I watched her exit the gym after the volleyball practice.

She was surrounded by a group of her teammates. They talked and laughed for  a few minutes and as she waved goodbye and started to walk toward the car, one of the girls stopped her so she could give her a hug. The others followed suit and my girl was lost in a sea of hugs and smiles.

A final wave and then she climbed into the passenger seat of the SUV, tossing her gym bag into the back seat.

During the short drive home, she filled me in on how practice had gone. She had worked hard all summer long, endured three days of tryouts, and made the team the week before. She found the practices exhilarating and her eyes shone with accomplishment and the excitement of a new challenge.

In six days, my daughter will walk through the doors of a high school for the first time.

I know that there will be times of laughter, tears, joys, struggles, losses and triumphs for her in the days ahead.

I find myself repeatedly thanking God for the years He gave me with her when she and her brother were the only students in a very exclusive school called “Brown Academy” :).

I am also thankful for the fact that this summer, the three of us did a Bible study about our identity in Christ.

She has already told me that she has been warned about certain groups to “stay away from.” She was not warned about any person in particular, just the groups by which these kids have been labeled.

This same thing went on when I was in school and it will continue to exist until the end of time.

I have taught my kids to look beyond labels, stereotypes, and cliques and see individuals made in the very image of the God who created them. They will like some of them. They will dislike some of them.

Regardless, they are called to love them—not blindly, but with discernment and resolve— with the very love of Christ and shine His light in that school.

I will be joining them in that endeavor. I have begun to get to know my son’s friends and each  precious name is now on my prayer list. I plan to do  the same with my daughter’s new friends.

I feel like a huge dork around teenagers but my hope and prayer is that as they fill my home in the days and weeks to come, they will find in me someone who truly sees them and seeks to know them…just like my mom did for my friends when I was growing up.

Our hearts…and our doors…are open.

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August 22, 2011 · 5:54 am

Weekend in Vermont


My family is entering a new season.

For the next six months, my husband will be consulting with a company in Vermont, which means that we will see him mainly on the weekends.

This past Friday, we all traveled to our new home-away-from-home to explore.

Vermont is a lovely, charming state.

I absolutely loved the name of this bakery…

Unfortunately, they had already closed for the day.

There was, however, a woman in the window expertly frosting a cake.  She was so intent on her task that she didn’t even notice us.

I wondered if she was one of the crazy Russian girls?  Wouldn’t you love to know the story behind that name?

I definitely intend to go back the next time I’m in town.

Now, this is just wrong:

Red Sox and Yankees fans simply cannot co-exist in the same space. Every New-Englander knows that.

Vermont Country Store is a huge attraction for people all over the country.

Walking through those doors is like taking a step back into time. They carry products that bring back so many memories and nostalgia wrapped itself around me like a warm blanket.

My brother and I had every one of these toys when we were little kids:

Fragrances from yesteryear abound…

Wind Song…L’Air Du Temps…Jean Nate…Anais Anais…Tabu…Wild Musk by Coty (that was a particular favorite of my friends and I were in middle school. It made us feel oh-so-sophisticated).

There was penny candy galore…

We all cracked a grin at one little boy whose eyes widened as big as saucers at the unbelievable good fortune of finding pixie sticks at such a bargain. He literally yelled, “I’m going to get a hundred of these! One! Two! Three! Four!…”  He kept losing count and began to get frustrated, eventually causing his mother to just grab a handful and steer him toward the cashier. 🙂

Now that is an attention-grabbing book title:

Yes please…

After leaving the store, we discovered a year-round Christmas shop across the street:

I liked this “junk food tree”…it spoke to me 🙂

For the rest of that sunny August day, I could not get Christmas carols out of my head!

Above all, the weekend was about family and enjoying being together…

In the weeks to come, we plan to explore all that Vermont has to offer. If you have spent time in Vermont, we would welcome any suggestions!

I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for us during this new season!

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August 9, 2011 · 11:25 pm

The Light Is Always On


The porch light was burning and I could see the silhouette of my aunt and uncle in the screen door as I pulled into the driveway.

I had been back in my hometown for two days and a visit with my dad’s siblings was already long overdue.

As I climbed the steps to the house, memories filled my mind of years gone by: climbing those same steps, arms loaded with Christmas presents as our noisy, fun-loving family gathered to celebrate another holiday; my aunt’s dining room table always piled high with all kinds of mouth-watering food; my wedding shower in her beautiful sunroom; all the cousins packed in to celebrate my aunt and uncle’s 60th wedding anniversary a few years ago; and many, many more.

If those walls could talk, they would tell the story of a large, imperfect-but-loving family who have made it through the best and worst of times together with our faith and sense of humor intact. These rooms have been filled with so much laughter, even during times of sadness, such as the first time we gathered there for dinner after my dad died in 2002.

The grief was palpable when everyone arrived that evening.  My dad’s larger-than-life personality left a gaping hole and the silence of his laughter and deep voice seemed to scream louder than anything else. Tears brimmed and hearts ached at  the sense of enormous loss. He had always been the one to say, “We’ve got to enjoy this. There are no guarantees. This might be the last time we all have the chance to be together.”

We never dreamed that he would be the first to go.

Yet…shortly after dinner was served,  one of us  said something funny. Someone laughed. Then another and another…until soon we all were laughing…laughter mixed with tears to be sure, but the laughter was a welcome relief nonetheless.

It’s my family’s way.

I was enveloped in hugs the second I walked through the front door and as soon as I sat down in my aunt’s beautifully appointed living room, I could feel myself relax, as if all was right with the world. I felt so safe and protected.

This house is a haven to me. I left my hometown 17 years ago and have lived in 11 different homes. My mom sold my childhood home back in 2004. So, when I have the chance to come back to this familiar place, it is truly comforting and special to me.

For almost two hours, we talked, laughed,  and reminisced.

These dear ones make me feel as if I can do anything and have always been incredible cheerleaders in my life.

I study their faces, so aware of the changes of time…and so grateful that they are still such a big part of my life. I treasure the minutes and all  too soon, it’s time to go.

There are more hugs and promises to get together again soon and I walk to my car, tears filling my eyes.

Thank You, Lord, for the precious gift of TIME with them. Their bodies have slowed down but their spirits are still as strong as ever. I can’t imagine my life without them.

I start the car and back out of the driveway, giving a final beep of the horn and a wave.

And they do what they have done since I was born…they stand in the doorway and wave back until my car is out of sight.

It’s one of my favorite sights in the world.

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June 29, 2011 · 11:03 pm

The Swing


I spent much of Father’s Day out on our deck, sitting on my dad’s swing.

This is one of my most cherished possessions.

My mom, brother, Doug and I gave this to my dad as a surprise Father’s Day present many years ago and he loved it so much. Every spring he could hardly wait to bring it out of the shed and place it in the corner of the back yard.

We spent hours on that swing…talking, laughing, solving all the world’s problems, listening to music, and visiting with friends and family.

Here is Dad blowing bubbles with Josh. You can plainly see the  swing in the background. He obviously fancied it up way more than I do 🙂 (Thanks to my cousin Sarah who captured this particular moment in time).

This is Dad and Julia sharing a moment on the swing:

That little girl was the light of his life. My big, tough dad would melt like butter in a hot frying pan when his only granddaughter was in the room.

 My cousin Johanna, who was visiting from Michigan:

This is my dad’s older sister, my Aunt Dot showing off all her fine jewelry:

I’m not sure what Julia is so unhappy about in this next photo with her childhood playmates Jessica and Justin, but clearly, she was not pleased. Jessica is now a college student and sweet Justin lost his battle with leukemia eight years ago when he was only six. He was such a bright light and had the sweetest spirit of any little boy I have ever known. He will always be missed:

Josh and Grandma are enjoying the shade after playing some basketball. (Little known fact: my mom was a star basketball player in high school):

I love the look on Josh’s face as he talks to Grandma. They have always shared a very special bond:

The following photo is the definition of exhaustion. Their cousins Tom and Molly had visited that day and they had played hard:

This is Aunt Dot and me with the kids. My hair hasn’t been that short or that dark for many years: 🙂

My Aunt Dot (who clearly loved the swing as much as my dad did!), Aunt Audrey (who was married to my dad’s older brother Bob), and my mom. We lost Aunt Audrey last year at the age of 89.

 Rewinding a few years, here is our dear family friend Voni holding Josh, who was around 6 or 7 months old. It’s not very clear in this photo but for the first year of his life, Josh had a wild head of curls. We called it “Kramer hair” after Cosmo Kramer of “Seinfeld” fame:

My cousin Sarah was visiting from Maryland one summer:

I have absolutely no idea what Josh was doing here. He had borrowed my dad’s walking stick and his grandma’s straw hat. For some unknown reason, he was also wearing a Yankees outfit. Clearly Doug (who is a devoted Red Sox fan) was not with us during this trip to my hometown. He would never have permitted such a travesty!

After my dad died in 2002 and my family and I moved to south Florida, my mom sent the swing with us.

Just seeing it on our deck brings back so many wonderful memories. I feel close to my dad when I use it and this past Father’s Day was no different. The swing now overlooks the mountains rather than the backyard of my childhood home, but the sweet memories remain.

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.”

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June 15, 2011 · 5:58 am

Siblings


Julia and I were headed to the high school so she could attend a mandatory meeting for all who were interested in trying out for the volleyball team.

As we drove, I suppressed a smile as I observed her checking her reflection in the passenger side mirror. She tucked an errant curl behind her ear, adjusted her sweatshirt, and tapped her foot to the music on the radio.

She has so much more courage than I did at the tender age of 13. Attending a new school would have been my worst nightmare.  However, she is facing this new season with excitement and a sense of adventure. She has already spent a couple of days in band class with her future classmates and now she is going to walk into a gym where she knows no one to sign up for the August volleyball tryouts.

“I think I’ll just send Josh a quick text,” she announced, pulling her cell phone from the pocket of her jeans.

She tapped out a quick message, then placed the phone on the dashboard to await her brother’s reply.

“What did you say?”

“I just asked him if he wanted to meet me in the parking lot,” she said casually. “We could walk into the gym together.”

This time, I couldn’t stop the smile.

Josh and Julia are only 19 months apart and while they were mostly buddies when they were small, the teen years have introduced a new dynamic and there has been some friction.  I have told them many times that they must have each other’s backs and be kind to each other.

I loved that she was reaching out to her big brother.

Josh hadn’t answered by the time we pulled into the parking lot. Undeterred, Julia said goodbye, hopped out of the car, and walked toward the gym entrance.

Shortly afterward, Josh showed up. I told him about his sister’s text but his phone hadn’t been on.  However, he told me that when he learned one of his friends was going to be at the  volleyball meeting,  he asked her to say hi to Julia.

Another smile…big brother was looking out for his little sister.

Julia returned to the car after the meeting, full of excitement. Among other things, she had a paper with workout suggestions. One of the things she had to do was handle the ball with someone else everyday.

Shortly after we got home, I heard the kids outside in the backyard. Josh was helping his sister.

This did my heart good. I loved seeing Josh be so willing to help his little sister achieve one of her goals. Also, it is music to any mother’s ears to hear the sound of her children laughing together.

Maybe they have been listening to me after all. 🙂

“To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We knew each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.”–Clara Ortega

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June 14, 2011 · 5:55 am

I Hope You Dance


I heard one of my favorite songs while I was walking Buddy yesterday: “I Hope You Dance” by LeeAnn Womack.

I love this song almost as much as my kids loathe it.

I find it lovely while they think it is incredibly sappy.

Despite  their copious eye-rolling every time it comes on the radio when we are in the car together, I tell them that the lyrics are exactly what I wish for them…in particular the following: “…when you get the chance to sit it out or dance…DANCE!”

The year was 2002.

Doug and I were guests at a beautiful oceanfront wedding in Rhode Island.  It was a picture-perfect summer day. The bride was gorgeous, the food was delicious, the friends at our table were delightful company. Happiness reigned.

Then the dancing started.

Doug and I watched as one by one, each of our friends answered the call of the music and headed for the dance floor. Soon, nearly all of the wedding guests were on their  feet, dancing with abandon and having a blast.

Doug and I sat alone at our table, choosing to be spectators rather than participants.

I was feeling  self-conscious and uncomfortable in my own skin. Because I was carrying some extra pounds that I had hoped to lose prior to the wedding, I was wearing the only outfit in my closet that fit and it was way too warm for the summer evening.

In addition, neither of us can dance in the slightest. We have no rhythm whatsoever.

However…(and I say this with love)…neither did our friends! But they didn’t care! They didn’t let that stop them from getting out there and squeezing every drop of fun out of that wedding reception.

As we left that evening, Doug and I decided we were never going to let that happen again. In the future when we found ourselves at a wedding reception, we would dance.

And we have.

We have taken our middle-aged selves onto every dance floor. We may look ridiculous, but we are seizing the moment and making a memory.

As Dave Barry has said, “Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.”

Amen.

I don’t want my kids to live their lives on the sidelines. I don’t want them to be paralyzed by self-consciousness.  That is not living, that is existing.

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to its fullest; make the most of what you have. It’s later than you think.”– Horace

I Hope You Dance by LeeAnn Womack

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June 10, 2011 · 10:25 am

A Promise Kept


“Your son has won an award. There will be an awards ceremony at the school on Thursday at 9:15 and you are invited to attend.”

That was the phone message that I received from my son’s high school last week. There was no hint of what kind of award he had won, but that didn’t matter…Doug and I would be there.

Once we arrived at the school, we found our friends Steve and Risa, who explained the drill. At the end of every semester there is an awards ceremony. Each teacher selects a few students who have excelled in some way and honors them with an engraved medal.

Several parents arrived early, cameras in hand. Eventually, the entire student body arrived, pouring into the auditorium with animated, energetic chatter.

The principal welcomed all of us before introducing the first teacher. In a group this size, I expected that each teacher would say a few words, then call out the names of the students and that would be that. I could not have been more wrong…and happily so.

For the next two hours, I watched as teacher after teacher took the podium and often struggled with tears as they spoke in a heartfelt manner of the students they were honoring.

These are people who truly care…they have chosen to be on the front lines in order to invest in the lives of these young people; to develop their budding intellects, to encourage their dreams, and celebrate the young adults they are becoming.

One teacher could not even continue her speech about a graduating senior. Overcome, she motioned to another teacher to take over for her and read her prepared statement. Another asked if the mom of one of her students was in the audience. When the woman timidly raised her hand, the teacher ran over to give her a hug, thanking her for raising such a wonderful son.

The applause as each deserving student came forward to accept their award was heartfelt and enthusiastic.

As our son walked up to the stage to receive two medals for academic excellence from his teachers, I was filled with two things: pride for his accomplishment…and most importantly, gratitude and awe for my great and faithful God.

So many years ago, when He was making it quite clear that we were to homeschool our children, I was flat out petrified. Finally, one morning, after staring at the mountain of unavoidable evidence of God’s will, I begged Him…with tears in my eyes…to show me something from His Word that would absolutely clarify that this was His will. I knew that I would need that eternal Word to cling to as time went by and things got hard.

As always, He was faithful to answer that prayer. He is a loving Father who delights to give wisdom to His children when they ask. (James 1:5).

In my devotional reading that day were these beautiful words from the book of Isaiah: “Your children will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children’s peace.” (Isaiah 54:13).

I was right…there were definitely days when I had to go back and re-read that verse over and over again. I had to trust Him for the big picture when the days were rough and the enemy screamed into my ear that I was failing at this.

Finally, the day came last November when Josh quietly approached us and told us that he would like to go to high school full time. He was ready.

We sought the Lord and He said, “Yes.”

Everything came full circle for me that moment in the auditorium. Yes, I was proud of my son because he has worked very hard. But the most of all, my heart was full of praise to my beautiful God who lovingly guided me through those years and has greatly blessed my (sometimes shaky) obedience.

And just as I trusted Him for that season, so I will trust Him for this new one as I await His plan for this next adventure in my journey with Him.

He is faithful. Always.

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June 9, 2011 · 5:46 am

A Sweet Surprise


Last week, at the age of 76, my mom proved that it is never too late to seize the day.
 Josh’s high school band was going to New York City, followed by a ‘Battle of the Bands’ competition at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania.

Hershey is a four hour drive from my mom’s place. She debated back and forth whether or not she should go and surprise Josh. He is her first grandchild and they have always shared a special bond. She hadn’t seen him since Christmas.

My mom is not an “out-of-the- box, spur-of-the-moment” type of person. She likes clear guidelines, organization, and a scheduled calendar. Doing something like this was way out of her comfort zone.

Finally, she decided to go for it. She knows that life is short and we are not promised tomorrow.

So, armed with Josh’s cell phone number, she and her friend (and fellow adventurer) Mary Ellen set off down the highway.

Surprises come with risks and for awhile there, it looked as if she had traveled all that way for nothing.

But then….

Success!

I love the look on my mom’s face! It is a look of pure joy. She told me that at the moment Josh took the photo, she was exclaiming, “I did it!”

She would have missed this moment if she had decided to play it safe and stay home.

Instead, she and Josh shared a memory that they will never forget. They were able to spend an hour together, sharing ice cream and laughter before Josh continued the day at the park with his friends.

Don’t be afraid to think outside the box today…get out there and make a memory! 🙂

Seize life!…God takes pleasure in your pleasure…Each day is God’s gift…make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it! And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it. —Ecc. 9:7-10 (The Message)

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May 26, 2011 · 11:23 pm

Girlfriends


We all arrived at the parsonage at dusk.

As I walked toward the house, I could hear bursts of laughter through the open windows. A smile spread across my face and my spirit sang, anticipating a wonderful evening ahead with these dear ladies. We all have the immense joy of leading Bible studies each week at our church and our hearts have been knit together as a result of this ministry. We love the women we are privileged to serve and we love each other.

Tonight, we gathered to have dinner together, followed by some Bible study.

I walked in and hugged each one…and then proceeding to accidentally step on the tail of our pastor’s cat! The poor thing let out a loud screech, dashed across the room and cowered under a chair, shooting nasty looks in my direction.

It was certainly not an auspicious beginning to the evening. Fortunately, that did not set the tone for things to come. 🙂

We gathered around the dining room table that overlooks the most incredible view of the lakes and the mountains. A refreshing wind carried the  sweet smell of lilacs through the wide screen doors as we enjoyed a delicious meal.

Our time together ranged from raucous laughter  to celebrating good news, to heartfelt tears as painful trials were shared.

That is what is so precious about these friendships. We don’t wear masks. We are completely real…unafraid to share our joys and heartaches, as we encourage each other to hold on tight to Jesus through it all.

Jesus is the One who binds our hearts together. We are all wildly in love with Him. He has taken each of our broken lives and shown us the stunning beauty of  the  glorious redemption that only He can give. He is everything to us.

Their faith inspires me every day. They have all been through the fires of affliction; yet have emerged closer to their Savior than ever. I see His likeness in each one of them.

It is an incredible gift to have friends who accept me as I am, who will lend a listening ear, who aren’t afraid to be honest when need be…and who graciously put up with my many “blonde” moments without judgment. 🙂

I arrived at the house tonight extremely tired…but I left uplifted, refreshed, and filled with gratitude. That is the power and beauty of friendship.

My prayer for all of the precious friends God has given me echoes the apostle Paul, when he writes: “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy .”  (Philippians 1:3-4)

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May 26, 2011 · 4:58 am

Rainbows and New Beginnings


Two days ago, I wrote this post about seizing the day.

Little did I know that that truth would come to life the very next day.

It was Promotion Night at my daughter’s homeschooling co-op, which is always a very special night. The sanctuary is packed with family and friends as we all gather to celebrate the achievement of the kids as they are recognized for doing the hard work to advance to the next grade.

We were only one exit away from our destination. It had been raining quite hard and we were delighted to see a  beautiful rainbow, not only stretched across the sky but right in front our our vehicle! It seemed to rise from the wet road and shimmered right in front of us as we drove.

Suddenly…traffic that had been traveling 65 mph came to a screeching halt.

There had been an accident just ahead of us.

A tractor trailer truck had jackknifed across the highway, hitting two cars and slamming them into the guardrail. We narrowly missed hitting the car in front of us and having  the car behind us smash into our vehicle.

In the blink of an eye, life could have changed forever.

Watching the reaction of the man in front of us was interesting. He was highly irate. He got out of his car and paced all around, clearly frustrated that he was stuck in the middle of the highway. It was as if we could actually see his blood pressure rising.

That would have been me a few short years ago….but not that day.

Rather than fretting and fuming (which would have done no good anyway), I whispered a prayer of thanks for God’s protection. I prayed for the accident victims as we watched several ambulances arrive on the scene.

Forty-five minutes later, one of the lanes were cleared, allowing us to be on our way. (Later, we learned that no one was killed and injuries ended up being somewhat minor, fortunately).  It was a solemn reminder that every minute is precious.

When we finally arrived at the co-op, it was such a joy to enter into a celebration of life…milestones reached,  happy memories of years gone by burned into hearts and minds, fresh starts.

The night began by honoring the lady who has led the co-op for several years. Becky has served us tirelessly and passionately and this was her last year with us. One of the group’s quilters had the wonderful idea of making her a quilt as an expression of thanks for all she has done for us. Every family wrote a farewell message on one of the panels and then it was lovingly sewn together by the quilters. The end result was gorgeous:

The children in grades 6-11 were then called up to the stage by grade, one by one. They each received their promotion certificate and gathered for a group photo.

The seniors, clothed in cap and gown entered to “Pomp and Circumstance” and a standing ovation as they make their way onto the stage. Then everybody’s favorite part of the night began.

The parents of each senior previously record a 3 minute video montage of their graduate’s life. In the voice over, they share their favorite memories, their pride, and their hopes and dreams for their child as they prepare to take their journey out into the world. When the video ends, the senior comes forward and waits for his or her parents to ascend the stairs onto the stage. The parents then present their child with their diploma. After years of hard work, they all have made it. Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. It is a triumphant moment.

Even when I don’t personally know the student, tears fill my eyes. It is such a beautiful thing.

There is one moment I will never forget. When the video montage for a young man named David began, his parents explained that they were told by the “experts” that since their son had been born with certain issues, he would not have a normal life and would certainly never  graduate from high school.

So much for the “experts.”

As the montage ended, this young man stood up and walked to the center of the stage.  Tears were unashamedly streaming down his face. His parents made their way slowly up the stairs. David’s mother has been quite ill and has spent much of this year in the hospital enduring serious surgeries.

I could tell by one look at this woman’s face that she is someone who fully knows and appreciates the power of a moment. Not only was she living a moment that she was told would never happen, but she was well enough to experience it.

The entire room erupted in cheers and applause as we all gave this family a standing ovation. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.

I love moments like that.

Eventually, all the seniors were officially graduated and turned loose on the world…but not before having a little fun with silly string. 🙂

A celebration commenced after the ceremony.

Julia and Doug

It was a lovely, if somewhat bittersweet evening… one that marked the end of  one season and the beginning of a new one. I am looking forward to the next chapter.

It’s a wonderful life.

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